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ijustmissyouraccenths · 6 months ago

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Boyfriends

Based around the song Boyfriends by Harry Styles

Word count: 9,985

Content warning: fighting, cursing, mentions of alcohol and a lot of angst.

A little over two years ago

The concert was electric, every beat of the music reverberating through Y/N’s chest as she moved through the press pit with her camera. She’d already taken dozens of photos—Harry under the spotlight, interacting with the crowd, lost in the music but she knew her best work came from capturing the moments no one else saw.

As the final notes of the encore rang out, she noticed the security team starting to guide photographers toward the exit. Her mind raced. She couldn’t leave yet. Not when there was a chance to get the kind of candid shots that would set her portfolio apart from the rest of her competitors.

She slung her camera strap tighter over her shoulder and approached one of the large security guards standing near the backstage entrance.

“Excuse me,” she said, her voice steady despite her pounding heart. “I know I’m supposed to head out, but I’d really love to capture some candid shots of Harry as he comes off stage. It would tell such a story.”

The guard raised an eyebrow. “Not sure that’s allowed. Press isn’t usually permitted back there. Private.”

“Please,” Y/N insisted, her tone earnest. “I promise I won’t get in the way. Just a few quick shots, and I’ll be out of there. I promise.”

The guard hesitated, studying her for a long moment before sighing. “Fine. But if anyone asks, I didn’t see you.”

“Thank you!” she said, already slipping past him toward the backstage area.

She hurried down the dimly lit hallway, her sneakers squeaking faintly on the polished floor. The muffled roar of the crowd faded behind her, replaced by the sounds of crew members breaking down equipment and distant chatter. This is what she lived for.

Just as she rounded a corner, the door to the stage swung open, and there he was towel slung over one shoulder, his face glowing with sweat and adrenaline. Y/N froze, momentarily stunned.

Harry’s eyes landed on her, and a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. “Well, aren’t you persistent? Must’ve made a pretty convincing case to the security team.” he said, his voice warm and teasing.

Y/N blinked, her grip tightening on her camera. “I just… I wanted to get some shots of you coming off stage. It’s where the magic happens, right?”

He chuckled, running a hand through his damp curls. “Magic, huh? I don’t know about that. Mostly sweat and bad jokes back here.”

“I’ll take what I can get,” she quipped, raising her camera slightly as if to ask for permission.

Harry tilted his head, his smile softening. “Go ahead, photographer. Show me what you’ve got.”

Y/N didn’t waste another second.

A few weeks later

The small Italian restaurant was tucked into a quiet corner of New York, dimly lit with candles flickering on each table. It was the kind of place where conversations were hushed, and the aroma of garlic and fresh bread filled the air. Y/N sat across from Harry, her hands wrapped around a glass of red wine, trying to ignore the flutter in her chest as he leaned back, effortlessly relaxed.

“So,” Harry began, a faint smirk on his lips. “I have to ask, do you always beg security guards to let you backstage, or was that just a one-time thing?”

Y/N laughed, her cheeks warming. “I wasn’t begging. I was persuading. There’s a difference and hey! It worked.”

“Right,” he said, drawing out the word playfully. “Well, whatever it was I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so determined to take pictures of me covered in sweat.”

She rolled her eyes, but her smile betrayed her amusement. “I was trying to capture the moment—the real you. Not the polished, on-stage version.”

Harry tilted his head, his gaze softening. “That’s what caught my attention, you know. I mean, I’ve had photographers at shows before, but you… had this fire. Like you weren’t just there for the job, you cared about it.”

Y/N’s fingers traced the stem of her wine glass as she looked at him, surprised. “You noticed all that?”

“Of course,” he said, leaning forward slightly. “You were practically sprinting down the hallway to get the shot. I remember thinking, ‘Who is this girl, and why is she running so fast?’”

She laughed, trying to play it cool. “It’s my job. I just wanted to do it well.”

Harry’s smile widened. “Well, you did. The way you didn’t hesitate to push for what you wanted. Most people don’t do that around me. I liked it.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, her confidence returning. “And what about you? Most people would’ve just walked past me, but you stopped. Why?”

He took a sip of his wine, considering her question. “Maybe I liked the challenge. You didn’t seem fazed by all the… ‘Harry Styles’ stuff. You were just yourself. It was refreshing.”

Y/N’s heart fluttered at his words, but she kept her tone light. “So, basically, you’re saying I charmed my way into your good graces?”

“Exactly,” Harry said with a grin. “And now, here we are. A photographer and her subject having pasta in a little New York restaurant. Life’s funny like that.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “You’re crazy.”

“Maybe,” he teased, his voice low. “But I’m glad you begged that security guard. Makes for a good story.”

Y/N couldn’t help but smile.

Present day

The faint sound of an alarm broke the quiet of the early morning, its persistent buzz pulling Y/N from sleep. She groaned, rolling over and burying her face into the pillow, trying to block out the noise. At the foot of the bed, her chubby orange cat, Teddy, stretched lazily, his tail flicking in mild irritation at the disturbance.

The bed shifted slightly as Harry moved beside her. She peeked one eye open to see him sitting on the edge of the bed, tugging on a pair of flare jeans. His hair was a tousled mess, and he was moving with the sluggishness of someone who hadn’t had enough coffee yet.

“Harry?” she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep. “Where are you going?”

He glanced back at her, already reaching for a hoodie draped over the chair. “Studio,” he said simply, his tone casual.

Y/N sat up slightly, blinking at him in confusion. “The studio? But… we were supposed to go to the market today. Remember? We talked about it all week.”

Harry froze for a moment, his hand paused mid-reach for his phone on the nightstand. Then he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Oh, right. Sorry, love. Totally slipped my mind.”

She stared at him, the sting of his words sinking in. “You forgot?”

“It’s just been busy,” he said, his voice tinged with exasperation—not at her, but at himself. “You could still go, though. Pick up a few things for us?” He gave her a small smile, as if that would smooth things over.

Y/N frowned, leaning back against the headboard. “So, you want me to go alone? After we planned this together?”

“It’s not that I want you to,” he replied, clearly sensing her frustration. “I just can’t get out of the session. It’s important.”

Her chest tightened, the hurt creeping in despite her best efforts to brush it off. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. Lately, the studio seemed to take priority over everything else.

“Right,” she said quietly, her tone laced with disappointment. “I’ll go. Don’t worry about it.”

Harry’s brows furrowed, and he stepped closer to her side of the bed. “Y/N, I’m not trying to upset you. I just need to get this done.”

She looked up at him, her expression guarded. “I know. I get it. You’re busy. It just… feels like you’re always too busy these days.”

His face softened, guilt flashing in his eyes. He opened his mouth to respond but seemed to think better of it, instead leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

Y/N forced a small smile, watching as he grabbed his keys and slipped out of the room, the sound of the door clicking shut echoing in the quiet.

She let out a sigh, glancing at Teddy, who had barely stirred from his spot at the foot of the bed. “Looks like it’s just you and me today, buddy.”

Teddy let out a sleepy meow, as if in agreement, and Y/N pulled the covers closer, wondering how long she could keep pretending this didn’t bother her as much as it did.

After getting dressed and going solo to the market Y/N sat on the couch in their London apartment, absently scrolling through her phone. The soft hum of the city filtered through the windows, but inside, the space felt eerily quiet. Teddy, her ever-loyal orange cat, was curled up beside her, his rhythmic purring the only sound in the room.

For weeks now, it had been the same routine. Harry would wake up early, leaving the house before she’d even fully opened her eyes, and come home late, exhaustion etched across his features. He was always kind, always apologetic in his soft-spoken way, but the words “I’m sorry, love” were beginning to feel hollow.

It wasn’t that she didn’t understand. She did. Harry was driven, passionate about his music, and that was one of the things she loved most about him. But lately, his determination felt more like a wall between them than something to admire.

She let her phone drop onto the coffee table and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. Every time she tried to bring it up—how distant he seemed, how much she missed him—she felt silly, selfish even. His work was important, and she didn’t want to be the needy girlfriend who couldn’t handle his busy schedule.

But it hurt.

It hurt to feel like she was always the second priority, to have their plans constantly pushed aside for another recording session, another photoshoot, another promotional event. It hurt to go to bed alone and wake up to an empty side of the bed, save for Teddy’s occasional company.

She ran her hands through her hair, letting out a slow breath.

Y/N didn’t need grand gestures or romantic getaways. She didn’t need a fancy dinner or expensive gifts. She just wanted Harry—the Harry who used to stay up late talking with her about anything and everything, the Harry who’d pull her into his arms for a kiss in the middle of the kitchen, the Harry who used to make her feel like the center of his world.

But now? Now it felt like she was living with a ghost of him, someone who passed through their apartment in a blur of schedules and commitments.

Teddy shifted beside her, his big green eyes blinking up at her as if sensing her mood. She scratched behind his ears, her lips tugging into a faint smile.

“I don’t know, Ted,” she said softly. “How do you tell someone you love them, but you’re starting to hate how they make you feel?”

The cat let out a small chirp in response, and she let out a half-hearted laugh.

Y/N shook her head, trying to push the thoughts away. But deep down, she knew it was only a matter of time before everything boiled over. She could only hold it in for so long. She did what any girl would do and called her best friend for a girls night.

Y/N paced back and forth in the kitchen, her phone pressed tightly to her ear. Teddy watched her from his spot on the counter, his tail flicking lazily as if he could feel the tension radiating from her.

“Addy, are you busy tonight?” Y/N asked, trying to keep her voice steady but failing miserably.

“Not particularly,” Addy replied, the faint clinking of dishes in the background suggesting she was doing something mundane. “Why? What’s up?”

“I need to rant,” Y/N said, letting out a heavy sigh. “Like, properly rant. Maybe cry a little. You free for a sleepover? I’ll bring wine.”

Addy didn’t hesitate. “Of course, babe. Get over here. I’ll grab the blankets and make a snack spread. You know I never say no to wine and a vent session.”

Y/N felt a small smile tug at her lips, a flicker of relief breaking through her frustration. “You’re a lifesaver, Addy. Seriously.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Addy said, her tone warm. “Now hurry up. We’ve got wine to drink and whining to do.”

Y/N laughed lightly, though her chest still felt heavy. “Be there soon.”

She hung up the call and turned to Teddy, who was now licking his paw as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “Alright, buddy, you’re in charge while I’m gone,” she said, grabbing his food bowl and refilling it. Teddy let out a small meow of approval, hopping down to inspect his meal.

Y/N moved quickly, tossing a few essentials into an overnight bag: her favorite pajamas, a toothbrush, her phone charger. She grabbed the bottle of wine she’d been saving and gave Teddy one last scratch behind the ears before locking the door behind her.

The short walk to Addy’s flat was brisk and refreshing, the cold London air biting against her cheeks. She tried to let the walk clear her head, but her thoughts kept circling back to Harry, to the way things had been lately, to how exhausted she felt.

By the time she reached Addy’s building and knocked on the door, she was ready to collapse. Addy flung the door open, already in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, her face lighting up when she saw Y/N.

“There she is!” Addy exclaimed, pulling Y/N into a tight hug. “Come in, wine queen. We’ve got a couch, snacks, and a whole lot of ranting to do.”

Y/N laughed, the warmth of her best friend’s embrace melting away some of the weight she’d been carrying. “You have no idea how much I need this.”

“Trust me, I do,” Addy said, ushering her inside. “Now, start from the beginning, and don’t leave anything out.”

As Y/N sank into the couch, wine glass in hand and Addy by her side, she felt a flicker of hope that maybe—just maybe—she could figure this out. But for now, she was grateful to have someone who would listen without judgment. Someone who just got it.

The first glass of wine went down smoothly, maybe too smoothly. Y/N poured herself another before Addy even finished her first, and by the time they’d gotten halfway through the second bottle, the conversation had turned raw and unfiltered.

Y/N leaned back into the couch, her cheeks flushed—not just from the wine, but from the surge of emotions she’d been bottling up for weeks. She swirled the last bit of wine in her glass and sighed.

“I don’t even know why I’m so upset anymore,” she said, her voice tight. “It’s not like it’s new. Harry’s been… distant. Detached. Nonchalant, even. Like, I could’ve told him I was leaving tonight, and I swear he wouldn’t have noticed.”

Addy frowned, pulling her knees up onto the couch. “Are you serious? He didn’t even ask where you were going?”

Y/N shook her head, letting out a bitter laugh. “Nope. He probably assumed I’d just be home when he got back—like always. That’s the thing, Addy. He doesn’t notice anything anymore. It’s like I’m… invisible to him.”

Addy’s brows furrowed, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Y/N, that’s not okay. You’re not a piece of furniture. You’re his girlfriend. He should be noticing you.”

Y/N stared at her glass, her voice quieter now. “We barely even talk anymore. It’s all ‘Sorry, love, the studio ran late,’ or ‘Can you handle this for me?’ It’s like I’m his roommate, not his partner. And the worst part?” She swallowed hard, her chest tightening. “We haven’t been… close. Like, at all. No hugs, no kisses, no… sex. It’s been weeks, Addy. I don’t even know if he wants me anymore.”

Addy’s mouth fell open. “You’re joking.”

“I wish I was,” Y/N muttered, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over. “And I’ve tried, you know? I’ve dropped hints, I’ve made plans, I’ve even dressed up when he’s home just to get his attention. But it’s like he’s so caught up in everything else that I’m… I’m not even on his radar.”

Addy put her wine glass down and scooted closer, wrapping an arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “Hey, listen to me. This isn’t about you. Harry is clearly drowning in his own world, and he’s taking you for granted. That’s on him—it’s just what boys do.”

Y/N leaned her head against Addy’s shoulder, her voice breaking. “I just miss him. I miss us. The way we used to be, you know? When we’d spend hours talking, when he’d grab me and kiss me just because. I miss feeling like I mattered to him.”

Addy tightened her hold, her voice firm. “You do matter, Y/N. He’s just too wrapped up in himself to see it right now. But you deserve better than this—better than feeling like you’re waiting around for scraps of his time.”

Y/N sniffed, her tears finally spilling over. “I don’t even know how to talk to him about it without feeling like I’m nagging. What if he’s just… over it? Over me?”

Addy pulled back slightly, looking Y/N in the eyes. “If he’s over it, then he’s a bloody idiot. But you need to talk to him, Y/N. You can’t keep holding all this in. It’s going to eat you alive.”

Y/N nodded slowly, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. “You’re right. I just… I’m scared, Addy. What if I say something, and it doesn’t change anything?”

“Then you’ll know where you stand,” Addy said softly. “And you can decide what’s next. But no matter what, I’ve got you. Always.”

Y/N managed a small smile, her heart aching but lighter knowing she didn’t have to face this alone. For tonight, though, she let herself sink into the comfort of her best friend and another glass of wine, the weight of her worries just a little easier to bear.

The morning light filtered through the thin curtains in Addy’s living room, waking Y/N from a restless sleep. The pull-out couch wasn’t exactly luxurious, but after the wine and emotional exhaustion from the night before, she hadn’t cared.

She rubbed her eyes and reached for her phone on the coffee table, squinting at the screen. A notification from Harry stared back at her, and her heart sank as she opened the text.

Harry:

Would’ve been nice if you told me you weren’t coming home last night.

The words were short and clipped, and Y/N could almost feel the passive-aggressive undertone seeping through. She stared at the screen for a moment, a mix of guilt and frustration bubbling up in her chest.

“Seriously?” she muttered under her breath, sitting up and running a hand through her hair.

Teddy’s bowl had been full, the apartment was clean, and it wasn’t like she had disappeared without a trace. But still, Harry managed to make her feel like she was the one in the wrong.

She typed out a response, her fingers hesitating for a moment before hitting send.

Y/N:

I stayed at Addy’s. I forgot to let you know. Sorry.

She tossed the phone onto the cushion beside her and let out a heavy sigh, leaning back against the couch. Her chest tightened with the familiar ache that had been building for weeks.

“Everything okay?” Addy’s voice came from the kitchen. She appeared moments later, a mug of coffee in hand, still in her pajamas.

Y/N looked up and gave her a weak smile. “Harry texted me. He’s annoyed I didn’t tell him I wasn’t coming home.”

Addy raised an eyebrow as she handed Y/N the coffee. “He’s annoyed? The same Harry who’s been barely speaking to you and blowing off plans left and right?”

Y/N shrugged, wrapping her hands around the warm mug. “Yeah, that Harry.”

Addy flopped onto the armchair across from her. “Honestly, I don’t know whether to laugh or scream. He has no right to guilt-trip you after how he’s been acting. He sure knows how to get under your skin.”

Y/N sighed, taking a sip of her coffee. “I don’t think he meant to guilt-trip me. It’s just… I don’t know, Addy. Everything feels so off between us. Even little things like this turn into a thing.”

“Because he’s not giving you what you need,” Addy said bluntly. “You wouldn’t feel this way if he was showing up for you. Instead, he’s putting all this effort into everything else and leaving you with scraps. It’s not fair, Y/N.”

Y/N bit her lip, staring down at the coffee in her hands. “I know it’s not fair. But I still love him, Addy. I just… don’t know how to fix this.”

Addy leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “You shouldn’t have to fix this alone, babe. He’s your partner. He should be just as invested in making things work. If he’s not, that’s on him, not you.”

Y/N nodded, but the knot in her stomach didn’t ease. She glanced at her phone again, tempted to say more, but decided against it. Instead she got herself together and said goodbye to Addy before making the short trip back to her home.

Y/N unlocked the door to her apartment, still groggy and in her pajamas, her head pounding from last night’s wine. She stepped inside and was greeted by Teddy, who meowed loudly as if scolding her for being gone.

“Morning, Teddy,” she muttered, bending down to scratch his head before kicking off her shoes.

When she looked up, she froze. Harry was sitting on the couch, legs crossed, his phone in his hand. It was rare to see him home at this hour, and for a moment, she was too surprised to say anything.

He glanced up at her, his expression unreadable. “Nice of you to finally come home,” he said, his voice calm but with a cutting edge. “I thought maybe we could’ve done something today, but you were gone and by the looks of it, hungover.”

Y/N blinked at him, her exhaustion giving way to irritation. “Are you serious right now?”

Harry leaned back into the couch, raising an eyebrow. “What? I’m just saying, it would’ve been nice to know where you were.”

Her frustration boiled over, the tension that had been building for weeks finally snapping. “Oh, you mean like all the times we made plans, and you bailed on me? Is that what you’re talking about, Harry? Because if we’re keeping track, you’ve canceled on me more times than I can count.”

Harry rolled his eyes, his tone dismissive. “Here we go again.”

“No, seriously,” Y/N said, her voice rising. “Do you have any idea how it feels to be constantly put second? To have you forget about us because you’re busy with your career? And then you have the nerve to act like I’m the one in the wrong because I stayed at Addy’s for one night?”

Harry set his phone down, looking at her with a mix of annoyance and exasperation. “I don’t have time for this right now. You’re blowing things out of proportion. I’m working hard and you’re acting selfish.”

Y/N stared at him, her mouth falling open. “Selfish? Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve been here, Harry. I picked up my life and moved here. To be with you. To be close to you. I am here waiting for you, supporting you, picking up the pieces of this relationship while you put me on the back burner. And now I’m selfish because I’m upset that you don’t seem to care anymore?”

He ran a hand through his hair, his jaw tightening. “I never said I didn’t care. But I can’t drop everything just to make you happy. I have obligations, Y/N. I thought you understood that.”

“I do understand,” she snapped, her voice trembling. “But what about your obligation to me? Or does that not matter anymore?”

The room fell silent, her words hanging in the air like a challenge. Harry looked at her, his expression softening just slightly, as if he hadn’t realized how deep the cracks had gotten.

Y/N swallowed hard, her voice quieter now. “I’m not asking you to drop everything, Harry. I’m asking you to show me that I matter to you. That we matter, even if it’s only for a few hours.”

Harry opened his mouth to respond but hesitated, the weight of her words settling over him. For the first time in weeks, he didn’t have a quick answer, and that silence spoke louder than anything he could’ve said.

With that, she turned and walked toward the bedroom, leaving Harry sitting on the couch.

Y/N scooped Teddy up on her way to the bedroom, the orange fluffball letting out a small chirp of protest before settling into her arms. She pressed her face into his fur, taking comfort in his warmth as she turned back to look at Harry, still sitting on the couch.

“Well,” she said bitterly, her voice carrying just enough to make her point, “at least Teddy will spend time with me.”

Harry didn’t respond, his face unreadable as she turned away and headed down the hallway. She pushed open the bedroom door, setting Teddy down gently on the bed. He immediately curled up in his usual spot, his tail flicking as Y/N climbed in beside him.

Pulling the blankets around her, she stared up at the ceiling, her thoughts swirling. The fight had drained her, but her mind wouldn’t stop replaying everything—Harry’s dismissive tone, the way he had rolled his eyes at her, the frustration and sadness that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in her chest.

She closed her eyes, willing herself to think of something better, something good. Slowly, her thoughts drifted to the earlier days of their relationship, when everything felt effortless and magical.

Like the time Harry had surprised her with a trip to Disneyland Paris.

She smiled faintly at the memory, her heart aching with nostalgia. It had been just over a year into their relationship, and she’d mentioned in passing one night how she’d always dreamed of going but never had the chance. She hadn’t thought much of it—just another drowsy late-night conversation between them—but Harry had clearly been paying attention.

He’d woken her up early one morning, a mischievous grin on his face. “Pack a bag,” he’d said, barely able to contain his excitement. “We’re going on an adventure.”

She’d laughed, confused but thrilled as he refused to give her any details. It wasn’t until they were at the airport, with two tickets to Paris in his hand, that she realized what he had planned.

“You didn’t,” she had whispered, staring at him in disbelief.

“I did,” he’d replied, his grin widening. “What’s the point of dreaming if you don’t make it happen?”

The trip had been everything she’d hoped for and more. They’d spent the days running from ride to ride, indulging in too many churros, and taking pictures in front of the castle. He’d bought her a pair of Minnie Mouse ears, which she’d worn the entire time despite teasing him for wearing his matching Mickey ears.

And at night, under the glow of the fireworks, he’d wrapped his arms around her and kissed her like they were the only two people in the world.

It was one of the most thoughtful, romantic things anyone had ever done for her, and it had cemented her belief that Harry was someone special—someone who truly saw her.

Now, lying in bed, those memories felt like they belonged to a different time, a different version of them. She glanced down at Teddy, who had dozed off at her side, his soft purring filling the silence.

“How did we get here, Ted?” she whispered, her voice breaking.

Teddy didn’t respond, of course, but his presence was steady, a small comfort in the midst of her swirling emotions.

She rolled onto her side, clutching a pillow to her chest as tears silently slipped down her cheeks. She missed the Harry from those days—the one who surprised her with trips, who laughed with her over burnt pancakes, who made her feel like the center of his world.

Y/N stirred slightly when she heard the quiet creak of the bedroom door opening. She kept her eyes closed, her breathing steady, even as she felt the bed shift under Harry’s weight. He laid down beside her, the mattress dipping slightly as he settled in.

The faint scent of alcohol hit her almost immediately, making her chest tighten. Her eyes opened just a fraction, though she remained on her side, facing away from him. Had he been drinking?

Her heart sank further. Of course, he had every right to do what he wanted—he was an adult, after all. And after the way she’d walked home hungover this morning, she didn’t exactly have the moral high ground to say anything about it.

But still.

The thought of him out, drinking alone or with people who weren’t her, only deepened the ache that had been gnawing at her all day. It wasn’t about the drinking itself—it was about the growing distance between them, the choices they both seemed to be making that pushed them further apart.

She lay there in silence, staring at the faint shadows dancing across the wall. Part of her wanted to roll over, to ask him where he’d been or why he smelled like tequila. But another part of her—the tired, frustrated, heartbroken part—couldn’t muster the energy for another confrontation.

Instead, she stayed still, her hand resting gently on Teddy’s fur as he purred softly in his sleep. She could feel Harry’s presence beside her, close enough to touch, yet it felt like there was an ocean between them.

After a moment, she heard him exhale deeply, the bed shifting slightly as he adjusted his position. She wondered if he was awake, if he was thinking about the fight they’d had earlier, if he even realized how much she missed him.

But no words came. The silence stretched between them, heavy and unyielding.

The next morning, Y/N forced herself out of bed despite the heaviness that still lingered from the night before. Teddy trailed behind her as she shuffled around the apartment, gathering her gear for the day’s photo shoots. She threw on a comfortable outfit, pulled her hair into a loose bun, and grabbed her camera bag, trying to shake off the lingering ache in her chest.

Photography had always been her escape. It didn’t matter if she was capturing sweaty concerts or snapping portraits of families; behind the lens, she felt purposeful. Grounded.

The day passed quickly as she moved between locations, her subjects ranging from a young couple celebrating an anniversary to a family of five with a rambunctious toddler. She smiled, laughed, and gave her all to each session, momentarily forgetting the tension waiting for her at home.

When the shoots were done, she wandered the streets of London, her camera still slung over her shoulder. The city was alive with people, the winter air crisp as she strolled past cafés and flower shops. She pretended to savor her independence, stopping to snap a few shots of the bustling streets, but the nagging loneliness in her chest was impossible to ignore.

By the time she returned home, the sun had set, and the apartment was dark and quiet. She dropped her bag by the door, kicking off her shoes as Teddy padded over to greet her.

“Hey, buddy,” she murmured, scooping him up for a quick cuddle. The silence in the apartment felt heavier than usual, and she sighed as she put him down and reached for her phone.

She typed out a quick text to Harry:

Y/N:

Hey, are you going to be home for dinner? I was thinking of ordering Chinese.

She stared at the screen for a moment, willing the typing bubble to appear. But it didn’t. After a few minutes, she gave up and placed the order anyway, opting for her usual dishes.

By the time the food arrived, Harry still hadn’t responded. She ate quietly at the table, Teddy perched on a nearby chair, his curious gaze following every bite.

It wasn’t until later that night that she heard the front door open. Harry walked in, his jacket slung over one arm and his keys jangling in his hand. She turned to look at him from the couch, immediately catching the faint scent of alcohol.

“Hey,” she said softly, trying to keep her voice even. “I texted you earlier. I was going to order Chinese. Thought maybe we could eat together.”

Harry glanced at her, his expression neutral. “I was with the band,” he said, his tone casual as he set his keys on the counter.

Her chest tightened. “I would’ve liked to come out with you,” she said, standing up and crossing her arms. “It’s been ages since we’ve done something together, Harry.”

He looked at her, an edge of defensiveness in his eyes. “It wasn’t a big deal, Y/N. Just me and the guys. You wouldn’t have wanted to sit around and listen to us talk about music all night.”

Her frustration bubbled to the surface. “You don’t know that! You didn’t even ask. I would’ve loved to just… be there with you. Spend time with you.”

Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not like I’m trying to exclude you. I just—”

“You just don’t think about me anymore,” she interrupted, her voice quieter now but no less hurt. “Do you even realize how lonely it’s been, Harry? You come home late, you barely talk to me, and now you’re out drinking with the band while I’m here eating takeout by myself.”

He stared at her, his jaw tightening. “I’m doing the best I can, Y/N. You think this is easy for me?”

“No, Harry, I don’t think it’s easy,” she shot back. “But it’s not supposed to be just you. It’s supposed to be us. And lately, it feels like I’m the only one trying to hold onto that.”

The silence that followed was deafening. He looked away, his lips pressed into a thin line, and she felt the familiar ache in her chest grow heavier.

Without another word, she turned and headed toward the bedroom as she had been night after night, and of course with Teddy trailing behind her.

Y/N sat on the edge of the bed, her head in her hands, trying to steady the rush of emotions building inside her. Teddy rubbed against her legs, offering silent comfort, but her chest still felt impossibly heavy. She heard Harry’s footsteps approaching and tensed, unsure if she had the energy for yet another argument.

When the door opened, she glanced up to see him standing in the doorway, his hand gripping the frame. For a moment, she thought he might apologize—finally acknowledge the hurt he’d been causing her.

But instead, his tone was sharp. “You’re always making this about you, Y/N. Do you ever stop to think about the pressure I’m under? Or is it just easier to sit here and point fingers or bitch at me?”

Her jaw dropped, the sting of his words hitting harder than she expected. “Are you serious right now?” she asked, her voice trembling with both anger and disbelief. “Did you come in here just to insult me?”

Harry’s expression shifted, the fire in his eyes dimming as her words seemed to sink in. His shoulders slumped slightly, and he ran a hand through his hair. “No,” he said quietly, his voice faltering. “That’s not… I didn’t mean it like that.”

“But you said it,” she replied, her tone cold as she stood and faced him. “If you’re under so much pressure, why don’t you talk to me about it instead of shutting me out and turning to alcohol? Why am I the one who has to sit here, waiting, wondering if you even care anymore?”

Harry looked at her, guilt flashing across his face, but he didn’t have an answer. His silence spoke volumes.

Y/N nodded slowly, her mind made up in that moment. She couldn’t keep living like this, caught in the limbo of his neglect and her own heartache. “You know what? I think I need some space. I think weneed some space.”

His brows furrowed, his lips parting as if to argue, but she cut him off.

“I’m going to fly home and spend some time with my family,” she said, her voice steady despite the ache in her chest. “You need to figure out what you really want, Harry. Because this—” she gestured between them—“this isn’t working. And it’s not just on me to fix it.”

Harry hesitated, his expression torn. “You don’t have to—”

“No,” she interrupted, holding up a hand. “I do. And you need to do some real soul searching while I’m gone. Drinking in secret, shutting me out… that’s not going to help you or our failing relationship. You can’t keep running from whatever it is that’s eating away at you.”

He didn’t protest, didn’t argue. Instead, he simply nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor.

The lack of resistance stung more than she cared to admit, but it also solidified her decision. If he wasn’t willing to fight for them, she couldn’t keep fighting alone.

Y/N took a deep breath, stepping past him and grabbing her suitcase from the closet. As she started packing, she felt a strange mix of sadness and relief.

The next morning, Y/N woke up with a knot in her stomach. The decision she had made the night before still felt right, but that didn’t make it any easier. She moved through the motions quietly, packing her suitcase and making sure Teddy had enough room in his carrier. The orange fluffball meowed pitifully as she zipped him inside, his big eyes watching her with a mix of curiosity and confusion.

“I know, buddy,” she said softly, rubbing a hand over the top of the carrier. “We need this. Trust me.”

The cab ride to the airport was quiet, the city slipping past in a blur. She avoided looking at her phone, unwilling to see if Harry had texted or called. She doubted he had.

Hours later, she landed in upstate New York, the cold January air biting at her as she stepped outside the small airport. Her cousin Mia was already there, leaning against her car, arms crossed and a scarf wrapped snugly around her neck.

As soon as Y/N walked over, dragging her suitcase and holding Teddy’s carrier, Mia’s sharp gaze zeroed in on her. “Okay, spill. What the fuck happened? And why did you just up and leave your international pop star boyfriend?”

Y/N sighed, her breath fogging in the icy air as she loaded Teddy into the backseat. “Can we maybe not do this in the parking lot?”

“Nope.” Mia slammed the trunk shut after tossing in Y/N’s suitcase and leaned against the car door, refusing to budge. “You flew across the Atlantic with your cat. That screams big drama, and I need the tea, like, yesterday.”

Y/N groaned, running a hand through her hair as she leaned against the car next to Mia. “It’s complicated, okay?”

“It always is,” Mia replied, her tone both sarcastic and supportive. “But I’m gonna need more than that. Did he cheat? Is he secretly married? What’s the deal?”

Y/N shot her a glare. “No, nothing like that. He’s just… he’s been distant. Forgetting plans, working all the time, barely talking to me. It’s like I don’t even exist to him anymore.”

Mia tilted her head, studying her cousin. “Okay, so he’s an idiot. Got it. But why leave? Why not just, I don’t know, call him out on his bullshit?”

“I did,” Y/N said, her voice cracking slightly. “I tried, Mia. I tried so many times. And last night, he…” She paused, swallowing hard. “He came home smelling like alcohol again, and when I told him I would’ve liked to go out with him, he said it wasn’t a big deal, like I didn’t matter. And then he had the nerve to call me selfish when I got upset.”

Mia’s jaw dropped, and she raised a hand. “Oh, hell no. He did not.”

Y/N nodded, her chest tightening as the memory of the fight replayed in her mind. “So, I told him I needed space. That I was coming home for a bit, and he needed to figure out what he wants. And he just… let me go.”

Mia let out a long whistle, shaking her head. “Okay, first of all, good for you for leaving. Second of all, what an absolute dumbass. Like, I’m sure he’s charming and hot and whatever, but damn, girl, he doesn’t deserve you acting like this.”

Y/N let out a small laugh despite herself. “You don’t even know him.”

“I don’t need to know him,” Mia said with a shrug. “I know you. And if he’s making you feel like shit, then he’s not doing his job as your boyfriend.”

Y/N nodded, her heart feeling a little lighter for the first time in days. “Thanks, Mia.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Mia said, opening the car door. “We’re gonna fix this. Either he pulls his head out of his ass, or we find you a hot new boyfriend who actually knows how to treat you right. Deal?”

Y/N smiled, climbing into the passenger seat. “Deal.”

As Mia started the car and pulled out of the lot, Y/N leaned back in her seat, gazing out at the snowy landscape. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she was exactly where she needed to be.

Over the next few weeks, Y/N poured herself into rediscovering the things she loved, the parts of herself that had been lost in the haze of her strained relationship. She spent her days hiking the trails of upstate New York, taking in the crisp air and breathtaking views, her camera always in tow. At night, she indulged in greasy slices of pizza from her favorite childhood spot, the simple comfort of it reminding her of easier times.

She found herself smiling more, laughing louder, and for the first time in a long time, she felt like she was living for herself again. The weight that had pressed on her chest back in London had begun to lift, replaced with a growing sense of independence and self-assurance.

One night, Mia announced that it was time for a proper girls’ night out. “You’ve been hiking and taking artsy photos long enough,” Mia teased, rummaging through Y/N’s suitcase. “We’re hitting the clubs tonight. You, me, and some dangerously overpriced cocktails.”

Y/N laughed, watching as Mia held up a dress she hadn’t worn in months. “I don’t know, Mia. I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of scene again.”

Mia rolled her eyes, tossing the dress at her. “Nonsense. You need this. Trust me.”

Hours later, Y/N found herself in a crowded club, the bass thumping so hard she could feel it in her chest. She’d forgotten how freeing it felt to just let go, to dance without a care in the world, the swirl of neon lights and the buzz of tequila making everything feel lighter.

Mia kept her entertained with her usual wit, sharing hilarious, sometimes borderline chaotic stories about her own life. Y/N laughed until her sides hurt, her worries melting away with every sip of her drink.

“Okay, okay,” Mia said, holding up her hands as they stood by the bar for a breather. “You remember that guy I told you about—the one with the weird obsession with his bonsai trees?”

Y/N snorted into her drink. “How could I forget?”

“Well,” Mia continued, leaning in conspiratorially, “turns out he didn’t just have bonsai trees. He had dollhouses. Like, full-on, hand-painted dollhouses. I walked into his apartment, and it was like stepping into a miniaturized version of my nightmare.”

Y/N burst out laughing, nearly spilling her drink. “You’re kidding!”

“I wish I was,” Mia said with a dramatic sigh. “Anyway, that’s why I’ve sworn off dating guys who call themselves ‘artists.’”

The two of them dissolved into laughter, the kind of deep, genuine laughter that made Y/N’s cheeks ache. She hadn’t felt this carefree in months.

As the night went on, Y/N found herself dancing again, her body moving instinctively to the rhythm of the music. She felt alive, untethered, and—for the first time in a long time—free.

Mia nudged her at one point, grinning mischievously. “See? I told you this was a good idea.”

Y/N nodded, her smile wide as she looked around the room. “Yeah. You were right. I needed this.”

And in that moment, as she twirled on the dance floor with her best friend cousin by her side, she realized that she was falling in love again—not with someone else, but with herself.

The morning light streamed through the windows as Y/N stood over the stove, flipping bacon while Mia chopped fruit at the counter. The apartment smelled of coffee and breakfast, the comforting sounds of sizzling and light chatter filling the space.

A sudden knock at the door broke the rhythm.

Both girls froze, glancing at each other. “You expecting anyone?” Y/N asked, eyebrows raised.

“Nope,” Mia replied, setting the knife down. “Probably Amazon or maybe bonsai guy finally returning to plead his case.” She smirked and tossed the dish towel over her shoulder.

“Go see who it is,” Y/N said, flipping the bacon. “And hurry back before this burns.”

“On it.” Mia walked to the door, muttering about early-morning interruptions as she swung it open.

She froze, her hand gripping the door, her mouth falling open. “Holy fuck,” she said, her voice loud and full of shock.

“What?” Y/N called, turning away from the stove, confused by Mia’s tone. “Who is it?”

When Mia didn’t answer, Y/N wiped her hands on her pajama pants and walked toward the door. Her heart started to race, a strange tension settling in her chest.

As she reached the entryway, she saw him.

Harry.

He stood there in the hallway, looking slightly disheveled, his hair messy, his coat hanging open. His expression was a mix of determination and something softer, something that made Y/N’s breath catch in her throat.

Their eyes met, and for a long moment, the world seemed to stop.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice carrying the weight of everything left unsaid.

She froze, her hands still at her sides, her mind racing as she tried to process the fact that he was here—standing on the doorstep of Mia’s apartment in upstate New York.

From the kitchen, Mia called out, “Do I keep the bacon going, or are we about to have a soap opera moment?”

But Y/N didn’t respond. Her eyes stayed locked on Harry, her chest tightening as she waited for him to say something more.

Y/N’s shock quickly gave way to a mix of confusion and irritation as she stared at Harry, standing there like he belonged on her cousin’s doorstep in the middle of upstate New York. Her arms crossed instinctively, and she narrowed her eyes.

“What are you doing here, Harry?” she asked, her tone sharper than she intended. “How did you even find me?”

He shifted on his feet, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat. “You still had your location on,” he said simply, his voice calm. Y/n felt a little dumb for not realizing she forgot to turn that off. Even then, he had connections and could’ve easily found out where she was.

Y/N’s jaw dropped, her confusion boiling with frustration. “You tracked me?”

“You didn’t answer my calls or texts and your phone went straight to voicemail,” he replied, his voice soft but steady. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

Her heart pounded in her chest, anger bubbling up. “If you’re here to try and convince me to come home. I’m not going back.”

“I’m not asking you to come home,” he said quietly, meeting her gaze. “I just want to talk. That’s all.”

She stared at him, searching his face for any sign of an ulterior motive, her mind racing. Before she could respond, Mia’s voice cut through the tense silence.

“Y/N, for the love of God, if you’re going to yell at him, do it outside,” Mia called from the kitchen, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “I have neighbors, and I don’t want them thinking we’re hosting some kind of reality TV reunion in here.”

Y/N clenched her jaw, letting out a frustrated breath as she glanced back at Mia, who was leaning against the counter, arms crossed with an amused expression.

“Fine,” Y/N muttered, turning back to Harry. She grabbed her coat from the hook by the door and stepped outside, letting the door click shut behind her. The cold air bit at her cheeks, but she barely noticed as she faced Harry again.

The cold morning air hung around them as they walked down the quiet, woodsy street, the crunch of gravel under their shoes the only sound at first. Y/N kept her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her jaw clenched as she waited for Harry to speak. He walked beside her, his hands shoved into his coat pockets, his head slightly bowed.

Finally, after a few minutes, he broke the silence. “I royally fucked up,” he said, his voice low but steady. “I took you for granted, Y/N. I thought… I thought you’d always be there, no matter how much I messed up, no matter how distant I got. And that was wrong.”

His words lingered in the crisp air, but Y/N didn’t respond. She kept her eyes ahead, her steps brisk and determined.

When he didn’t say more, she stopped abruptly and turned to him, her voice sharp with frustration and hurt. “You’re right it was wrong, Harry. Do you even realize how much you’ve hurt me? How lonely I’ve felt these past few months?”

Harry stopped too, his gaze dropping to the ground.

Y/N took a deep breath, her words spilling out in a torrent. “You’ve been more intimate with the studio than you’ve been with me. Do you know how humiliating it is to feel like you’re competing with someone’s job? To watch you pour your passion into everything else?”

His shoulders tensed, but he didn’t interrupt.

“And the worst part,” she continued, her voice breaking, “is that I thought… I thought we were heading toward something real, Harry. I thought maybe you’d propose soon, that we’d start building a life together or a family. But now? Now it feels like we’re just heading for a breakup.”

Her words hung heavy between them, the raw honesty of her pain hitting like a punch to the gut. Harry finally looked up, his expression anguished, but he still didn’t speak.

“You didn’t even fight for me when I left,” Y/N said, her voice quieter now but no less hurt. “You just let me go, like it didn’t matter. Like I didn’t matter.”

“I—” he started, but she held up a hand.

“No. Don’t say anything yet. Just… listen.”

He nodded silently, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard.

“I love you,” she said, her voice trembling. “But I can’t keep doing this if you’re not going to meet me halfway. And if you can’t give me that, then maybe we shouldn’t be together.”

The words came out heavier than she expected, the weight of them settling in her chest as she stared at him. For the first time since they’d started walking, Harry’s eyes locked on hers, a mix of guilt and something else—something she couldn’t quite place—flickering in his gaze.

But he didn’t interrupt. He just stood there, listening, the gravity of her words sinking in. And for once, Y/N felt like he truly heard her.

Harry shifted uncomfortably on his feet, his hands still buried deep in his coat pockets. He looked at her, his jaw tightening for a moment before he let out a long breath.

“I don’t really know what to say,” he admitted quietly, his voice heavy with guilt. “Except that I’m sorry. For all of it.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes slightly, her arms still crossed as she waited for more. She wasn’t ready to let him off the hook so easily.

He looked away, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve been… I’ve been a bloody idiot, Y/N. I didn’t realize how much I was messing this up until you left. And even then, I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I’d already lost you.”

Her chest tightened, but she didn’t speak. She wanted him to get it all out.

“So, I—” He hesitated, his cheeks reddening slightly as he looked back at her. “I talked to my mum.”

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up. “You talked to your mum about us?”

“Yeah,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t know who else to go to. She called me clueless—which, fair enough—but she also gave me some advice.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, her lips twitching despite her frustration. “Oh, yeah? What’d she say?”

Harry’s gaze softened, his voice dropping. “She told me to stop thinking about what’s easy for me and start thinking about what’s right for us. She said if I couldn’t figure out how to show you how much you mean to me, then I don’t deserve to have you in my life.”

Y/N stared at him, her heart twisting at the honesty in his voice.

“She also told me I’m a terrible communicator,” he added with a faint, self-deprecating smile. “And that I’ve probably made you feel like shit more than once without even realizing it.”

“Well, she’s not wrong,” Y/N said, her voice tinged with both irritation and something softer.

Harry nodded, his expression serious again. “I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, Y/N. I know I’ve got a lot to make up for. But I’m here because I don’t want to lose you. I want to be better—for you, for us. I just… I need a chance to prove it.”

She stood there, the cold air biting at her cheeks as she searched his face. There was something different about him now, something that felt raw and unguarded. She wasn’t sure if it was enough, but for the first time in weeks, she felt like he was truly seeing her.

She didn’t reply right away, letting his words hang in the air as she turned them over in her mind. Finally, she sighed and looked down at the ground. “You’ve got a lot to prove, Harry. And I’m not going to make it easy for you.”

His lips curved into the faintest smile. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Y/N sighed, running a hand through her hair as the tension in her shoulders began to ease. She looked at Harry, his eyes still searching hers with an intensity that made her heart twist. Despite everything, despite the hurt and frustration, she couldn’t deny how much she missed him.

“I really missed you,” she admitted softly, her voice trembling just enough to make him lean closer. “Even when I was mad at you—even when I thought I couldn’t stand the sight of you—all I wanted to do was just… jump on you and kiss you. Hug you.”

Harry’s lips parted slightly, a flicker of surprise and relief washing over his face. “You mean that?”

“Of course, I do,” she said, a small, rueful smile tugging at her lips. “I love you, Harry. That’s why this hurt so much. You’ve always been my person, and for a while there, I didn’t feel like yours anymore.”

His face softened, and he took a tentative step closer, his voice low. “You are, Y/N. You’ll always be my person. I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t.”

The sincerity in his voice melted the last of her defenses, and she let out a shaky laugh, wiping at her eyes. “You’re so lucky I love you. But you better believe I’m going to make you work for it.”

“I’m ready,” Harry said with a soft smile.

Y/N tilted her head, her smile widening as a thought crossed her mind. “You know, I’m a little embarrassed now.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

“Because,” she said, letting out a laugh, “I have to go back inside and tell Mia that we made up. And trust me, she was rooting for full-blown drama. She’s probably already drafting a speech about why I should dump you.”

Harry chuckled, his first genuine laugh of the morning. “Think she’ll let me stay for breakfast, or is that asking too much?”

Y/N smirked, shaking her head. “Don’t push your luck. But if you charm her enough, she might give you a piece of bacon.”

“Well, I’m pretty good at charming people,” he teased, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around her.

Y/N rolled her eyes but leaned into him, finally letting herself relax in his embrace. She rested her head against his chest, inhaling his familiar scent, and for the first time in weeks, she felt like things might actually be okay.

“Come on,” she said after a moment, pulling back slightly. “Let’s go face the dragon.”

Harry grinned, threading his fingers through hers. “Lead the way.”

As they approached the house, Y/N noticed a familiar figure standing in the window. Mia was leaning against the sill, a mug of coffee in her hands, her face a mix of amusement and curiosity as she stared out at them.

“Looks like she’s already got commentary locked and loaded,” Y/N muttered, glancing at Harry with a smirk.

“Should I be scared?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Always,” Y/N replied with a grin.

When they stepped onto the porch, Mia was already opening the door, one hand still clutching her coffee. She looked them over, her eyes flicking between Y/N’s flushed face and Harry’s sheepish expression.

“So,” Mia began, drawing out the word with a smirk. “I’m guessing you two worked it out, considering the lack of yelling and door slamming.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Yeah, we talked. You’re not getting the drama you were hoping for.”

Mia shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. “Honestly? I’m kind of happy. As much as I love you, Y/N, I also really love walking around my house in my underwear. Having you here has seriously cramped my vibe.”

Harry stifled a laugh as Y/N gawked at her cousin. “Oh, my God, Mia!”

“What?” Mia said, grinning as she stepped aside to let them in. “I’m just saying, you two reconciling works out for everyone. Love wins, and I get my space back. It’s a win-win.”

Y/N shook her head, laughing as she stepped into the house with Harry following behind. “You’re impossible.”

“That’s why you love me,” Mia said with a wink, heading back to the kitchen. “Now, who’s hungry? And Harry, if you’re sticking around, you better pull your weight. Bacon doesn’t flip itself, pop star.”

Y/N glanced at Harry, who was clearly trying not to laugh as he hung up his coat. “Welcome to the family,” she said with a grin.

“Thanks,” Harry replied, leaning closer to whisper, “I think I’m more scared of Mia than I was of losing you.”

Y/N smacked his arm playfully, but the smile on her face lingered as they followed Mia to the kitchen.

726 notes · View notes

k8martins · 1 year ago

Text

*✸ naked in manhattan

summary: reader is kate martin’s first love and wants to reconnect after she comes to new york for the draft, based on naked in manhattan by chappell roan

request: no / yes

warnings: some suggestive stuff towards the end

a/n: i lovvvved this rec i really hope i did it justice… got carried away again and i’m lowkey drunk rn so

“hey kate, it’s me… congrats on the draft! i know we haven’t talked in forever and you’re busy but um… i don’t know, maybe we could meet up sometime? if you want? just let me know. bye.”

the fact kate didn’t answer the call at all made you rethink your choices of not just calling her, but buying a ticket to the draft. your stomach churned after leaving the voicemail, cringing at all of the awkward pauses. you spoke cautiously out of fear of misspeaking somehow, even though you rehearsed the message a thousand times beforehand. it’s like you knew she wouldn’t answer, but still anxious that she didn’t. did she choose not to pick up? is she even thinking of me? all of the torturous scenarios ran through your thoughts, but you ultimately chalked it up to her being obviously busy.

either way, kate had to have at least acknowledged being in the same state as you again; new york. there’s no way she could’ve simply forgotten all the years of dating through high school, and eventually the painful breakup early into freshman year of college. the relationship between you and kate was near perfect; you complimented each other physically and emotionally, and everyone considered you and her as a power couple. there was no doubt that you wouldn’t stop loving kate even after breaking up for the sake of long distance. you had tried to make it work, but kate’s busy schedule and being in different states made for a rough patch in the relationship. the break up inevitably left both of you on good terms, but the constant busyness in both your lives ended up drifting you away from each other. you still exchanged small texts here and there for birthdays or holidays but both of you simply let it happen, since there was pretty much no time to work things out. days without talking turned into weeks, then months, then years without a full and genuine conversation. it broke your heart, but you knew kate was pursuing her dreams out in iowa, and you were doing the same in new york.

you stared at tomorrow’s wnba draft ticket sitting on your desk in your small apartment. it was a sign of a girl that you once knew inside and out; a girl you still tended to imagine roaming through your apartment as if you lived together, as if things were still the way they were before. your mind analyzed the times both of you would talk about eventually living together, and experiencing future years together. the way kate’s eyes would light up at the possibilities of doing anything with you; the mundane or the magical. the more you thought about your old relationship with kate, the more it validated you in wanting to meet up with her. it didn’t have to be anything more than a friendly hang out, but deep down you wanted her back more than anything. realizing these thoughts took your breath away, you forced yourself to breathe deeply and shake kate away from your mind. at least for a little bit.

——————————————————————————

your playlist wasn’t exactly helping you stay calm while getting ready for the draft. listening to music was always a way you tried to get your mind off things, but as chappell roan sang her song it was like she knew about your situation with kate.

“in new york, you can try things,

an inch away from more than just friends”

you skipped the song and continued applying mascara. still, your heart pounded at the thought of seeing kate at the draft. even before you bought a ticket, you envisioned the night in your head; tall and beautiful kate walking up to the stage, her enchanting blue eyes meeting yours from the crowd. kate wasn’t even sure of getting drafted for certain, but you had high hopes for her.

getting up from your desk, you walked over to the full mirror. you kept it casual, wearing a long black dress and minimalistic jewelry. would kate even notice me in the crowd? did she even listen to the voicemail? the thoughts were never ending, but you had to move forward. you grabbed your keys and headed out the door.

as you stepped into the draft building, you wouldn’t be surprised if you fell over right there. an endless sea of guests filled the room with dim overhead lights and a large sprawling stage up front. you found your seat in the way back and waited. recognizing all of the accomplished athletes was nothing compared to who you were really looking for. you craned your neck looking for kate, eventually landing on a girl with long blonde hair down her back, assuming it’s her. you stared at the back of her head as if it held a secret message, replaying your past memories with her in your head over and over. the girl you considered an extension of yourself was now in the same room as you for the first time in years, but far away, and on a completely different track in life. still, you thought of your voicemail, glad you at least reached out.

your eyes were glued to kate when all of a sudden she turned her head and looked behind her. immediately looking away, you were too late as she picked you out in the crowd, noticing your stare. out of the corner of your eye, you saw her do a double take on you. it was like the eye contact alone knocked the wind out of you, and your body rushed with emotion. kate now knows you’re here.

the draft was a long process, but something you were willing to sit through, because you knew kate had great things coming. at one point, a woman was announcing the 18th overall pick for the las vegas aces, and you monitored the movement around kate. people had moved near her with cameras, and all eyes were on her. your heart raced as you realized you were watching your ex girlfriend’s dreams come true right in front of your eyes, except you weren’t necessarily apart of it. you ached as you wished so deeply to be sitting next to her, still as her established lover, and supporting her through and through. you had told her during the breakup that you support her no matter what, but it was never the same since the split.

“with the 18th overall pick, the las vegas aces select, kate martin.”

you knew it. your mouth hung open as you watched kate get up and walk towards the stage, just as you imagined so many times before. the people who hugged her on her way up were watched with envy. yet you still joined in on the roaring applause, your eyes growing teary. it was all hitting you at once; how you regretted ever drifting from her, and how badly you desired to be with her every step of the way. why did i ever let that happen?

kate stood on stage holding up her new vegas jersey for a picture. her gorgeous appearance hadn’t changed much since you last saw her, except for the perfectly straightened hair and minimal makeup, which you remembered she never knew how to do complex makeup looks anyway. you then began to daydream about doing it for her, but snapped out of it when she began to step off stage. you didn’t want to make eye contact with her again, but couldn’t take your gaze away from her. and sure enough, you locked eyes again as she walked back to her seat. basically flinching, you looked away and felt irritated at yourself. you sat through the rest of the draft until it came to a close.

——————————————————————————

the stone wall was cold on your back as you stood outside for fresh air. you weren’t going to leave just yet in hopes for the traffic and commotion to die down a bit. you were checking your phone repeatedly, growing tired and doubtful, uncertain if you even cared about meeting up with kate anymore. it was late, and the night was cool. everyone you watched had someone, and somewhere to go home to. hand in hand with their other half, walking away into the night. again, your mind replaced every couple you saw with you and kate. you checked your phone once more for any updates, and felt nothing when there was none. the blank home screen kickstarted your brisk walk to the car, trying not to get too upset. you threw yourself down in the drivers seat when you felt your phone buzz.

“where you at?”

damn you kate. as your heart dropped to your stomach, you nearly teleported out of the car. forgetting to even reply to her, you aimlessly started down the crowded streets. numerous people gave you looks as you quickly shoved against the flow of people. one person in particular had muttered criticism as he moved past you. you stopped in your tracks to turn around and yell an apology, and kept walking with your head still turned behind you. suddenly, your whole body grew tense as you felt a stern grip on your shoulders. whipping your head around, you were face to face with kate martin. unable to stifle your reaction, you slightly yelped with wide eyes. kate laughed at both your reaction and the unreal feeling of seeing you again.

“kate!” you exclaimed, throwing up your hands in disbelief while looking her up and down.

she simply hugged you in response. it was a swift motion of being swept into her arms, a tight hold as if you were going to disappear. you could’ve stayed like that forever and wouldn’t mind. your body nearly went numb with the overwhelming feeling.

“congratulations, kate. i’m so proud of you,” you managed to say within her iron grip.

kate pulled away and thanked you. “you don’t know how long i’ve been waiting for this moment,” she admitted. and now that you saw it, you noticed the emotion in her face as well.

before you could say anything, she moved her hands back to your shoulders saying, “we have to go, there’s still a ton of people trying to see me but i only wanted to see you.” she rushed the second half of the sentence but you could tell she was being genuine.

you grabbed her hand and led her to your car in order to escape from the media. hand in hand, the two of you were practically jogging. despite the fast getaway, kate was trying to tell you how she was happy to see you at the draft. giggling like an idiot, you both got in your car and caught your breath.

“i cannot believe you’re in my car right now,” you said, looking over at her with your best ‘i want you so bad’ look.

“i can’t believe i ever let you go,” kate said, casually looking away after saying the most un-casual thing ever.

your heart skipped a beat. the way you looked at each other was like you never left high school, and you never broke up. all the feelings were still right were you kept them, and kate reciprocated.

“so… where are we gonna go?” you asked sheepishly. the question was obviously meant to address the present moment, but you also hoped she would read between the lines and answer it in the context of your relationship. either way, you didn’t care what happened that night. you just wanted to be with her and nothing else.

“hm… the bars are gonna be packed so…” kate trailed off, looking back at you.

“are you saying you wanna go back to my place? wowww kate moving a bit fast,” you joked, making her laugh and blush.

“we’re not strangers babe. you know me so well,” she said with her addicting smile. it’s like she was purposefully trying to stop your heart. anything and everything she said or did made you crazy.

“fine we can chill at my place.”

as soon as you pulled out of your parking space, the years between you and kate not speaking were erased and forgotten. the conversation started up immediately and didn’t die down until you got to your apartment. hearing kate’s lovely laugh was something you missed so dearly while talking to her, along with the stupid jokes she would make. it was all the same old kate you knew before.

you keyed into your apartment and let your hands fall at your sides.

“well, this is where i’ve been livin’. it’s not much but it’s cute i guess.”

kate seemed weirdly impressed with your apartment. “you guess? this is actually so cute! the decorations…” she mumbled as she ran her fingers along the counter tops and looked all around.

here she was once again re-enacting the exact scenarios you imagined in your head. slowly walking through your apartment, taking everything in. it was as if the stars aligned, but you had to keep your cool. for what, you weren’t sure.

“so… i have a few drinks if you still feel like drinking,” you gestured towards the fridge as she closely walked past you. she smelled faintly of a nice perfume which made your head swim. all you wanted to do was climb on her and kiss the way you used to, but still weren’t certain she wanted to do the same just yet.

the night descended into many shared drinks sitting on the couch watching dumb shows. the two of you finished cup after cup, with almost no end in sight. kate’s draft gave an actual good excuse to drink, and both of you took it up without fail. your vision was growing hazy and you had trouble even speaking, but kate still looked stunning sitting in front of you. neither of you cared how late it was getting, although you were still concerned of kate’s plans.

“don’t you have to like… go to vegas or something?” you slurred your words, smiling dumbly at kate.

“no, not yet. i’m staying here for a few days.”

you could hear the intoxication in her voice.

“are you sure?” you questioned, laughing at nothing.

kate gave you a look and it became apparent that she had places to be, but simply didn’t care to leave your side. the way she looked at you made you proud of your self control. you didn’t want to move too fast after not seeing her for years, but the chances of taking it slow were becoming more and more slim. either way, she still made you nervous with her devious looks.

“i’ll be… right back, i just wanna… change out of this dress real quick. it’s so annoying,” you blubbered to kate and stumbled towards your room.

“woah wait you’re gonna fall,” kate laughed at you and got up, following close behind you.

“no i’m notttt!” you made it to your room and began doing everything but taking your dress off. your drunken state made it hard to actually change out of your clothes. you stood there merely tugging at your dress and pulling at the straps. both of you burst out laughing at your stupid mannerisms, another moment you missed.

“here lemme help you,” kate muttered.

you were still giggling a bit as kate gently took the hem of your dress and pulled it up above your head.

“i’m not looking by the way,” she said.

“girl look all you want,” you practically begged.

so there you stood in your bra and undies, in front of a fully clothed kate. she looked you up and down with a knowing smile. she stepped even closer to you and placed her hands on your waist. you looked up at her and you looked in each others eyes with the same desires in mind. your mind swam desperately, trying to find the perfect words to say, but too drunk to succeed.

“kate… i’ve been wanting.. missing…” you started off.

“i know, baby…”

she was still able to read you. although you were too drunk to acceptably articulate words, she gently cupped your face and pulled into a deep kiss. it was like a part of you was unlocked again, a part that was hidden away for so long. you ran your hands through her highlighted hair and grasped it, making her groan into the kiss. her hands were unable to stop roaming your body, a place she hadn’t explored in quite some time.

she broke the kiss to sit down on the bed, and gesturing for you to get in her lap. you laughed in excitement and also relief that she wanted to do the exact things you did. you essentially straddled her lap as she immediately reconnected the kiss. your mind was in disbelief that you were finally making out with kate martin again. the kiss was meaningful and hungry, it was a wordless way to tell you everything you needed to know. it told you about everything you had missed. you pulled away to breathe and she instantly connected her lips to your neck. remembering how she is, you realized you were in for several hickeys.

“kate baby… go easy on the… the hickeys…”

“yeah right,” she said breathlessly.

you bit your lip and succumbed to the melting feeling of her lips on your neck and collarbones, which was its own form of intoxication. you were willing to let kate do whatever she wanted to you. your trust was still there.

the effect of the drinks had still not worn off as each movement began to blend into the next, smudging together in your thoughts like a romantic impressionist painting. kate had less clothes on, and both of you were ending up in different positions than remembered. but things were objectively slowing down, as the both of you grew tired. kate had moved you onto your back, lazily and slowly kissing down your body.

you felt yourself beginning to drift off as kate simply rested her head on your chest. her blonde hair was now very messy, her beautiful face now exasperated and lips puffy from extensive kissing. you began stroking her hair and almost let yourself doze off before kate began to mumble.

“i love you.”

the phrase alone almost woke you up entirely.

“i love you more kate.”

it was then you could finally fall asleep, with the world in your arms.

#kate martin #kate martin fanfic #kate martin edit #kate martin x reader #kate martin smut #kate martin fic #wbb #iowa wbb #las vegas aces #wnba

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iamdkayyyyy · 3 months ago

Note

Hii!! Can I request idol!joshua x idol!reader where fans think they have beef with each other but they’re secretly dating? Ty!!

ʚଓ Hidden Melodies ʚଓ

pairing: idol!joshua x idol!reader

synopsis: js read the request 😭

ʚଓ Hidden Melodies ʚଓ

In the bustling city of Seoul, the sun was setting, casting a golden hue over the streets. The K-pop scene was electric with anticipation, especially with the upcoming show that promised an ensemble of the best idols. Among them, Joshua Hong from Seventeen and Y/N, a rising star in the industry, were buzzing with excitement. But underneath the glimmering facade, a secret was brewing.

Fans had begun to speculate about a growing tension between them. It started with a few interactions on stage, where Joshua playfully teased Y/N during a joint performance. The camera caught their quick exchanges and raised eyebrows at the playful rivalry. But while fans interpreted it as a sign of animosity, only they knew the truth: their playful banter was a cover for a romance hidden in the shadows.

The two had met during a charity event last year. It was there that they shared fleeting glances that turned into mutual admiration and, eventually, love. They exchanged numbers, and what began as casual texts turned into late-night phone calls and secret meet-ups. Despite their public personas, their hearts were connected.

As the weeks went by, the rumors of their so-called feud grew more intense. Fans created memes and TikToks, speculating about “The Beef.” It was all in good fun, and even Joshua and Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity. They often laughed while scrolling through social media, teasing each other about who was the better performer, all while knowing the truth.

One evening, amidst the chaos of rehearsal, Joshua found a moment to pull Y/N aside. “We need to talk,” he said with a serious expression, an attempt at a serious tone that made Y/N smile. “About all this ‘beef’ nonsense.”

“Are we really going to have a ‘serious’ conversation about it?” she replied, biting back a laugh. “Because I’m pretty sure the fans would love a plot twist.”

“Seriously, though. What if they start to think we don’t like each other? They’ll never know we’re dating if we keep up with this act!” He took a step closer, lowering his voice. “I don’t want to keep hiding you.”

“It could be fun,” Y/N suggested playfully. “I mean, we have the best of both worlds—great careers and a secret romance.” She winked.

But deep down, Joshua felt the weight of what it meant to hide their love. “I just... I can’t stand the thought of not being honest with them, or with you. I want everyone to know how amazing you are.”

The sincerity in his eyes made Y/N’s heart flutter. “One day, we’ll tell the world. I promise. Right now, let’s enjoy it. Just you and me.”

With that, they returned to rehearsal, hearts light yet heavy with the knowledge of their secret. As the days passed, practice turned into performance, and the teasing continued. Their chemistry on stage seemed palpable, leaving audiences guessing about the true nature of their relationship.

During one particularly emotional performance, Y/N’s solo dazzled the audience, showcasing her talent and dedication. Joshua watched from backstage, pride swelling in his heart. As their songs ended, the audience erupted in applause, but Joshua's gaze was only for her.

After the show, they found a quiet spot in the venue’s garden. Tonight, the stars shined bright above them, a perfect backdrop for a heartfelt moment. “You were incredible out there,” Joshua smiled, his voice smooth as silk.

“Thanks! But I couldn’t help thinking of how cute you were dancing along with the backup!” Y/N shot back, teasing him playfully.

“Very funny, but maybe don’t mention that to the fans,” he grinned. “They’d never let me live it down.”

In that magical moment, Joshua took Y/N’s hand. “Let’s make a deal. We keep having our fun with the ‘beef,’ but when the time is right, we let everyone in on our secret.”

“Deal,” she agreed, their fingers intertwining. Love blossomed in the heart of secrecy, a melody only they could hear.

As the weeks turned into months, their bond deepened. Media outlets continued to speculate, but the two continued to put up a convincing front, their stolen moments filled with laughter, love, and profound connection.

Finally, the day came when they hosted a joint live stream, a special event for their fans. It was supposed to be lighthearted, a game to answer fan questions and share behind-the-scenes stories. Halfway through, a fan asked about their “beef.”

In that span of time, Joshua and Y/N exchanged a glance, a silent agreement passing between them.

Joshua smirked. “You know, we actually have something to confess.”

Y/N nodded, heart pounding with a mix of excitement and nervousness. “We’ve been hiding something from you all...”

“I’m not just an idol. Y/N is not just an idol. We’re... dating.”

The chat exploded with surprise, disbelief, and endless heart emojis. The hidden melodies of their love had reached the surface, and they reveled in the freedom of their truth.

Joshua squeezed Y/N’s hand, and in that moment, they both knew that love, when shared, became the greatest performance of all.

THE END 💕

#svt #seventeen #svt fanfic #svt x reader #i love svt #seventeen x reader #svt fluff #svt imagines #fanfic inspo #joshua hong #joshua #gose #hong joshua x reader #hong joshua fluff #hong jisoo #iamdkayyyyy

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undying-love · 1 year ago

Text

Paul describing John: A compilation

"I knew nothing about him except that he looked pretty cool. He had long sideboards and greased back hair and everything."

"I’d seen him around a couple of times, because I realised later what it was, my bus route, he would take that bus, but he would be going to see his mum who lived kind of in my area. And then he’d take the bus back up to his Auntie Mimi’s. So I’d seen him a couple of times and thought, ‘Wow, you know, he’s an interesting looking guy.’ And then I once also saw him in a queue for fish and chips and I said, ‘Oh, that’s that guy off the bus’. I’m talking to myself, in my mind I thought, ‘I saw that guy off the bus, oh he’s pretty cool looking. Yeah, you know, he’s a cool guy.’

"I remember John looking... we used to think that John looked pretty cool. He was a bit older than us and he would do a little more greased back hair than we were allowed… so John was quite groovy. He looked like a Ted then - he had a drape. He had nice big sideburns."

"There was a guy up on the platform with curly, blondish hair, wearing a chequered shirt-looking pretty good and quite fashionable - singing a song that I loved: the Del-Vikings ‘Come Go With Me’."

"I know how I saw John. He was just a ted, on the bus – greasy hair, long sideburns, shuffling around like he was Mr Hard. And I saw him on the top deck of the bus often, before I met him. Saw him in the queue at a chip shop once. And I thought, “He looks cool.” Turned out my best friend from school knew him. We went and met. I happened to know this song, ‘Twenty Flight Rock’. John admired that."

"Up on the stage there were a few lads around, and there was one particular guy at the front with a checked shirt, sort of blondish kind of hair... a little bit curly, sideboards, looking pretty cool. [...] He was playing Come Go With Me."

"This Ted would get on the bus. I wouldn't stare at him too hard in case he hit me."

“I just thought, ‘Well, he looks good, he’s singing well and he seems like a great lead singer to me.’ Of course he had his glasses off, so he looked really suave…He was really the only outstanding member, all the rest kind of slipped away.”

"My memory of meeting John for the first time is very clear. … I can still see John now - checked shirt, slightly curly hair [...] I remember thinking, ‘He looks good - I wouldn’t mind being in a group with him.’ … Then, as you all know, he asked me to join the group, and so we began our trip together. We wrote our first songs together, we grew up together and we lived our lives together. And when we’d do it together, something special would happen. There’d be that little magic spark. I still remember his beery old breath when I first met him that day. But I soon came to love that beery old breath. And I loved John."

"Would John and I have met some other way, if Ivan and I hadn't gone to that fête? I'd actually gone along to try and pick up a girl. I'd seen John around - in the chip shop, on the bus, that sort of thing - and thought he looked quite cool, but would we have ever talked? I don't know."

"When I look back and think, I have to say, “Wow” – we did all that, and we were just kids from Liverpool. And here it is in the photographs. Boy, how great does John look?"

#mclennon #beatles #paul mccartney #“he looks cool”#“checked shirt”#“sideboards”#“blondish curly hair”

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tokiwarcube · 1 year ago

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I always wondered what the boys would think if their s/o was in a band (the genre is up to you) and they have the same position in the band as the boys. This has been a thought that won’t leave me alone, help me!!

P.s I love your writings for these 5 silly men !! :)

Aww, thank you so much!! I absolutely fell in love with this prompt -- and I had an absolute blast writing it! Now I will Also be thinking about this forever, haha. Enjoy! <3

(Implied NS/FW warning for Pickles' section!)

Nathan Explosion

My simple, multi-platinum krillionaire rockstar — for as much as he daydreams about what life would have been like if he got to live like a regular jack-off, it’s just not the path for him. So dating another famous lead vocalist? Right up his alley.

He actually likes it more than he thought — it’s nice to bounce lyrics off of you, and vice versa. Toying with pitch, cadence, and intonation, all the different vocal techniques without judgement of sounding silly… Your halls are always alive with the sound of music… even if the subject is about death and murder, it’s its own form of magic.

But singing at home and singing in concert are two very, very different beasts. He wasn’t prepared for how intense you could be on stage, with the band to back you up. Your confidence as you stride, growling so mean he can feel it in his blood before perking back up to bounce away? All of your little stunts? Half of him is taking notes for their next show, and half of him is utterly starstruck. Your eyes dart over to him every now and again, smiling when you notice his wide eyes. His breath hitches when you throw a little wave to him in response, and he can’t help the breathless “holy shit” that falls from his lips.

You’re not as popular as Dethklok, but you couldn’t tell that from inside the venue walls — with how easily you command the crowd, he’s certain you were a siren in a past life. Or now. You could tell everyone in this room to jump off a bridge, and they would, he’s certain of it.

That would make a good song, actually…

Pickles the Drummer

Pickles has a pretty sizable repertoire of instrument proficiency — bass, guitar, keys… a brief stint with an alto sax, as a bit… and currently, drums. He’s got a soft spot in his heart for all of it, each instrument representing a specific era of his life, but he’s found himself enjoying the drums the most. It’s strong, supportive — every song needs a beat! It takes a specific personality to play drums well, and it’s one that he both embodies within himself, and covets when in others.

This is all to say — he finds it very hot that you play drums.

And as a man who appreciates a nice set of legs, he very much likes the effects drumming has on your calves. Your calves might be sore after a long practice session, but that’s nothing compared to the bites he’ll leave later in the night.

He also loves to watch you play — sweat rolling down the column of your throat as you raise your hands above your head for another well-timed strike, lost in the rhythm… Woof.

You’ve kind of gotta beat him back with a stick while on tour if you ever want to go out for drinks after a show — if he had it his way, he’d be spending the post-concert glow in the hotel, letting you know just how much he liked your performance.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Anyone looking in would assume this would be a point of competition, but he actually really loves having someone he can talk technical with! Despite being in Dethklok, he doesn’t really get to talk guitar often — Toki, Murderface, and Pickles can play, sure, but the former two don’t give a fuck about technique, and Pickles just doesn’t care about it enough to chat about it outside of the studio.

He loves hearing about all of the little musical decisions you’ve contributed to in each song — don’t think he didn’t catch the time signature change there. Just a single bar, why? Or this section here, that was a reprise of the first song in the album — how are they connected? He catches all the little details, and he wants to know all about them. In this same vein, he’s also great to bounce ideas off of when you’re in a rut… but be careful! His ideas are damn-good, and at this rate, he might just need a spot in the writer’s credits.

It’s very fun to just sit down and jam with him, passing the melody back and forth as your improvised tune grows. He calls it practice — and in a sense, it is — but really, he just likes playing with you.

He pushes to have your tours alternate with Dethklok’s so he can be at all of your shows, and vice versa — you have his full attention during your solos, and he’s not above slapping the boys to get them to shuts up so he can hear you in all of your glory.

He’s pretty stationary on stage — such is the downside of working with a bunch of uncoordinated dumbasses. (He is not exempt from this.) But if you have the agility and focus to bounce around on stage while playing? Oh, he didn’t think he could fall in love any further. He didn’t think he was capable of being starstruck, but you’ve proven him wrong tenfold. He’ll happily brave a couple thousand rabid fans for the pit experience — sorry to all the people stuck behind his towering self, but being backstage is nothing compared to barrier. The flashing lights, choking fog and towering flames only make you look more beautiful than ever, and he can’t help but reach out to you when you waggle your fingers at the crowd.

Personally offended if you don’t throw him at least one pick on tour. He does not care that he is 1.) Dating you, and 2.) Has limitless access to your stash. It’s the principle.

You wear each other’s picks on necklaces <3

Toki Wartooth

You play rhythm too? Wowee! You’re so good, though — how are you not playing solos?

He is completely gobsmacked by the fact that not only are you not the lead guitarist, but that you don’t care to be, either. I mean, he has Skwisgaar to compete against — and as loathe as he is to say it, it’s a pretty fucking high bar to surpass. But you? You could easily play lead! You just don’t want to? What?

He doesn’t really get it, but he writes it off as just you being humble. Beyond that, your similarity doesn’t really play too big of a role in your shared lives! But when concert season rolls around, he’s insistent about hanging out at barrier, just so he can see what it’s like to be at one of your shows. And then, then, that’s when he gets it.

You never seem to stand still, bouncing this way and that, playing in ways he never even thought possible. You don’t need to play solos to wow the crowd — hell, he’s been practically raised by the most popular band in the world, but with you in front of him now, he feels like just another one of your adoring fans itching at the chance to even be seen. Nobody cheers louder than Toki, and he’s insistent on going to each and every one of your shows.

After show from here on out he’ll interlock hands with you, congratulating you on yet another show well-done. He traces the callouses on your fingertips, heart swelling with giddiness at dating such a badass guitarist.

William Murderface

Finally, someone else who appreciates a good bass line. A band is nothing without the bass, especially metal, and it’s nice to talk to someone else who understands that. Especially after being AJFA’d out off all their most recent albums.

Playing bass is a very thankless job — you have to support the entire band, giving them structure and direction without any of the thanks that the rhythm guitar or the drums get. The most, and I mean the most that he gets, is a solo at the end of the show. Which is fun, but you know… it’s very much a job that you take because you love the big picture, not the details.

That’s his point of view, anyways. Because the second he sees you in-show, his whole world gets flipped on his head.

You have a very confident poise on stage — unshakeable, much like the deep notes that you pluck from the instrument. And yet, you command attention from the crowd effortlessly. It’s like you were made for this — all long strides and sneaky smiles as you move around on stage. And despite the eccentricity of your fellow bandmates — a very energetic show, he’s noticed — you still draw a sizable amount of attention from the packed arena, and man does he wish he was in the pit right now so he could get that sly little smile head-on. And huh, maybe bass can be fun, after all.

He loves to brag about you, and will do so at any opportunity.

After seeing your prowess on stage, he starts practicing a bit outside of concert season… and then more, and more, until he finally feels ready enough to fight to get the bass turned up in the next Dethalbum. Thanksch, babe.

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viktor-ghoul · 2 months ago

Text

Tampere ritual spoilers below!

(wrote all of this literally right after the ritual and English is not my first language so sorry if there are any spelling errors)

Morning after ritual: my feet hurt :(

Where do I even start? This was my first ever ritual. I've been a ghost fan since 2016-2017 (when Terzo was the front man) so I was literally jumping and giggling while waiting in line. Me and my friends got there an hour before the door opened. It was also my first time in Nokia areena and it was so prettyy!!

We had a solid two hours before the show started, so me and my two friends just played some silly games like naming ghost songs in alphabetical order. Seeing people talk to each other and not just stare at their phones made me really happy and I'm saying this as a person who usually doesn't like talking to people. It was really fun listening to the people cheer when someone hit Mountain's drums behind the curtain like an hour before the curtains dropped. Also, I WAS SO CLOSE TO PAPA I WAS LIKE 10-15 METERS AWAY FROM HIM!

Then the lights turned off at 20:00 and Peacefields started playing. It sounded so good I genuinely started crying!! It felt actually magical. Seeing Phantom and the ghoulettes and papa live made me so genuinely happy I don't think I'll ever be this happy ever again.

Some fun moments I remember! I think it was after cmlss, Phantom walked to the very front and pointed to one side of the crowd so they could cheer, then motioned them to stop, then pointed at the other side and did the same thingy. It was very funny seeing him shake his head and all that. (Sorry I'm bad at explaining it I can't find the words).

After Phantom was done with that, Papa came on the stage and talked a bit. He was pretty quiet still which was a bit disappointing but his jokes made it up. Also just the transition to yapping to the future is a foreign land was so smooothhh!! Phantom played the acoustic guitar during tfiafl and I swear we made eye contact. Papa was also an absolute diva and I love him. He's also much shorter than I thought.

Cirice was absolutely amazing! I don't think papa ciriced anyone though but I might have missed it. Cirrus' solo was as always, gorgeous! Phantom and Rain went up to her and like bowed to her!

They also did the thingy where Dewdrop messed around with his guitar and all the other ghouls looked so disappointed/annoyed (made me giggle).

I started crying the second time when they played darkness at the heart of my love. Just hearing the crowd sing the "when the summer dies, severing the ties, I'm with you always" was so gorgeous and beautiful I'm so glad it was a no phones concert.

For some reason I didn't think I'd feel the flames during year zero, but holy shit I FELT THEM! Phantom and Dew and Rain stomped, Umbra's and Aurora's vocals made my soul ascend.

During kiss the go goat, me and Phantom blew kisses at each other!! I'm actually so proud of him for doing so much during the ritual (that also goes for the others but Phantom is my favourite and I interacted with him the most). When the "but he's the guy you wanna do, and you know that it takes two" part played, Dew and Phantom pointed at Rain which definitely gave me fanfic and fanart ideas (someone please write I'm not that good at writing I'll sell my soul to you).

I caught some confetti during mummy dust and my father gave me the mummy buck he caught. Later when the show ended someone gave my other friend a mummy buck.

I started crying the final time when sorrow in the wind played and they did the final bows. I was so busy watching Cirrus (at that point I couldn't tell them apart that well) throw paper airplanes to the crowd that I didn't notice Mountain throwing his drumstick to my friend. I'm genuinely so happy about the ritual and we all got something!!!

After the ritual, I started handing out stickers to people and they were all so nice!! I also got a poster and the ugly one (frater imperator plushie). My little sister got the hoodie with bat wings. My feet and lower back ached so much after the show. I also lost my voice but it's not so bad. Over all, I'd give this experience a solid 666/10.

Everything I got from the ritual:

The stickers I gave out^

Edit: I'M THERE

#the band ghost #plushia #phantom ghoul #ritual #ghost ritual #I need to draw Phantom and Dew fighting over Rain's attention #still trying to impregnate phantom #dewdrop ghoul #umbra ghoulette #aurora ghoulette #cirrus ghoulette #rain ghoul #mountain ghoul #papa v perpetua #papa v ghost #I'm gonna post some of my ghoul designs as soon as I have written their lore #half of them are already done

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necngravestcnes · 3 months ago

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CLANCY WORLD TOUR ~ togg &jog on tour the essay

*clears throat*

(I’m writing it for the 3rd time cause Tumblr is sick and won’t let me post anything!!!)

Hi, frens! Just for clarification, while I’m writing it, I still can’t quite wrap my head around what happened and what I had the chance to witness. I’ve watched some livestreams before and I know the setlist but still, this really doesn’t prepare you for rollercoaster of emotions you get once you are among us, clikkies, shouting the lyrics of beloved songs and seeing Tyler & Josh just having one big party with us. This is incomparable to ANY show I’ve attended before. The energy, the interaction with fans, the welcoming feeling of being in the right place and time. I don’t exaggerate. They know their drill, they know how to entertain and make people included 🥹 I will love them for that forever and to the end of the world. That’s what makes you a great artist I think. Now, before I tell you everything, I would like you to draw your attention towards a person without I would never ever get to love these two boys from Ohio - @pardonmydelays - my togg, my soulmate and best fren! My life has been way much happier once I started listening to their songs. BECAUSE OF HER! And now having the opportunity to see them live with your best bud? THE MOST WHOLESOME FEELING IN THE WORLD!! This was so special! 🥹 Now… Welcome back to the show… I will never forget the beating of heart jumping in my chest right before I heard Overcompensate’s sound after legendary What’s your ETA? (✌️minutes!) This song is an actual opener, the banger of the century!!! Tyler Joseph has the taste and you can’t deny it! Hearing this live healed my soul I think, and then Holding on to You in the crowd! We got to stand pretty close to the stage (standing at 4am in the queue to get bands paid off lol! FUN TIMES, I would do it again!) Tyler stood on the platform just some 2-3 metres from us 🥹 (I would post a video but Tumblr won’t let me 🙃) And this was the moment I realised he’s real and he doesn’t exist only in my phone. Little Guy Clancy proceed to bang some sick tunes on his keyboard during Vignette and then did his magic trick of showing up even higher than tribunes because why not. Car Radio, you’ll be always famous! Here’s a really bad pic of our Clanky…

The Judge moment was really moving with the crowd singing the words and watching the video of fans explaining how much tøp music means to them. Tyler proceeding with the second verse of the song out of blue gave me even more goosebumps! *intermission for some pics*

You guys know how much Next Semester means to me, right? At least I hope you do. I didn’t record it, I asked poppy to do so because I knew I would be too busy drowning in my own tears. I only managed to snap a pic of Tyler pretending to be a magnificent statue, when he stood motionless long enough to take a photo of him lol

He and Josh were smiling and goofing around a lot, and I believe it is because of us screaming the lyrics of songs the loudest our lungs could let us. It was so much fun!! Tyler even learnt how to correctly pronounce the name of our city - Łódź - it was adorable, he said they’re so happy to be back in Poland, and it showed!!! ☺️ They debuted even Doubt demo version here??? Hello??? (I’ve been streaming it today ALL DAY!) Lavish was absolutely amazing, seeing two goofballs getting married on stage is something else, I’m telling you! 😂 poppy would murder me if I didn’t mention Backslide, and I wouldn’t forgive myself as well!! Hearing The Scream™️ live was something else, I knew it was coming but you still cannot be prepared!! The emotions, the tension, this song is absolute perfection 🥹

My soul left my body hearing Shy Away, heavydirtysoul and Midwest Indigo!!!! It was truly out of body experience hearing them all live. My absolute faves!

AND I DIDN’T FORGET ABOUT BEANIE™️ HOW COULD I? YOU ALL PROBABLY KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT BEANIE, idk what else to tell you. Blurryface is my beloved absolute fashion icon! Stressed Out was amazing and it will never get old. I said what I said! THE GUITAR??????

I also lost my mind during The Lore part. How sick was burning Dema to the ground?! Jumpsuit, Navigating, Nico and The Niners. Absolute iconic songs. This post is getting dangerously too long but I think there’s still not enough words to describe how I felt during this show. it was positively overwhelming, it made me feel nervous and happy and even though I hate crowds, standing in the pit with Clikkies felt safe and I didn’t even think of my anxiety 🥹 There I felt truly happy and at peace. Idk what else to say. I’m happy I stayed alive to experience it all. In Trench you are not alone, right? I feel like their music saved me so many times, and I’m forever grateful for that.

(*additional mention* I also would like to tell you that we were standing in the pit so close to Tyler freaking Joseph during Trees that we got splashed with water. This will be my legacy and I will never shut up about it 😭😭😭)

@endofanera-startofanage @noproof-youjustknow @redwidow616 @thepaladinstrait @xproskeith @fairlylocalsixes ❤️

#togg & jog on tour #essay #bel’s ramblings #twenty one pilots #tyler joseph #josh dun

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cezeras · 2 days ago

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hello!! i am DEADLY curious about your urban fantasy dr, it’s epic, could you perhaps tell us a bit about it?

omg , someone curious about my drs this is flattery ! i love to talk about my drs and my urban fantasy dr is something for sure … fair warning this turns into a bit of a ramble but we persist

to set the stage : we are in las vegas ( or new vegas or lost vegas or whatever else depending on who you ask ) somewhere in the nebulous future , only the only futuristic things we have are funnelled into making casinos and slot machines better . the vibe is very much that kind of over exaggerated view of las vegas you see in films , all the flashing lights and gambling and everything else . it’s night , always , and the people of vegas are ostensibly trapped there with no way out and no real communication with the outside world . theres a huge crack ( literally ) down the middle of city and sometimes dragons and harpies just … fly out of there like it’s an average tuesday . and also there’s these things called shadows , they come in different forms but always as cold and black as night , and nobody knows really where they came from . they smell vaguely like rot and the new monster hunter business venture that popped up since this whole thing started around 50 years ago is really booming — if you ignore the slight chance of death .

magic ( or ‘craft’ as it’s called in my dr ) existed long before that … although it was mostly confined to obscure corners of the map were small covens of witches and vampires in high castles lived and underground trading halls for magical creatures . the world as we know it is built on ancient magic and the tarmac and skyscrapers hides magical crypts and dungeons below it . when vegas essentially got trapped within this much all came light pretty quickly , and also the fact that vegas was house to these huge sprawling crypts that seemed to have no end and where magical creatures of all shapes and sizes seemed to spill out of it .

i’m a early 20’s wannabe popstar that lives in a somewhat dingy little apartment that looks over the heart of the city . i torture myself while i eat my dinner while listening to stupid pop songs on the radio and brooding that it isn’t me . i want my dreams to be true now but i’m also the type of person that sits at the back of the class on my phone and then complains when they fail the quiz , the person that sleeps all day then is surprised that the day passed them by : all that is to say that i’m a lazy bitch that chronically wants but never puts the work in . i mostly make my money by doing gigs to small crowds in bars that smell like sweat and sin and doing photo shoots for this little upstart magazine company . i long desperately for my best friend but refuse to make any moves until i reach some far off goal of success and such … all my problems are self inflicted

also i have a pet dragon , a tiny one no bigger that a house cat and the runt of the litter . he’s set my apartment on fire a few times , definitely trips me over with his tail at least once a day and absolutely a danger to myself and my livelyhood . his name is vesper and he’s practically a golden retriever puppy slapped onto the hardware of a dragon . my neighbours hate him but he is my shining star and sweetheart .

one day i’m on the subway after an absolutely horrible day . first off i woke up late , then i missed my train to a photoshoot and ended up being late , then said photoshoot was cut short thanks to the appearance of a shadow and then i had to pay money out of pocket to pay for the monster hunter ( that we didn’t even call and just showed up !!! ) that came to exterminate it — truly just a series of unfortunate events . so i’m sitting there wondering when my life turned to shit and exactly what karmic debt i must have acquired to deserve all of it when i see some kind of strange looking necklace on the floor . as soon as i touch it hear something . it’s a whisper in my ear , dissonant and broken like an ungodly choir and it’s saying something but it’s making my head ring to much to make out what it’s saying . the stars look brighter , the lights seem to blind me and everything is playing at full techicolour . and then as suddenly as it started it stops and i’m left with only a mild headache to show for it — and later some very strange night terrors that i wake up to no memory of .

anyway , i find myself wearing it to a gig the next day and the same thing happens !! only , when i get on stage i’m playing the best that i ever have : people for the first time are properly listening to my music . i soon realise that this necklace seems to make everything go my way when i wear it , heck i can even take on shadows when i’m wearing it … and yeah , sometimes it whispers strange , unintelligible things to me and i find myself struck with the strange urge to do nonsense things sometimes and have the crypts always looked so damn enticing ??? but , it’s easy to ignore all of the strange things when you’re suddenly thrust into stardom faster than you can process it all …

the genre is very much dumb stupid protagonist vs the world with a sprinkle of action , dungeon crawling , mystery , eldritch horror and possibly the most frustrating romance you will ever have the displeasure of laying your eyes on .

#⋆｡˚ CEZERA ༘ DRS #⋆࿐໋ URBAN FANTASY DR #desired reality #reality shifting #shifting #shifting blog #shiftblr #shifting consciousness #shifting community

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child0feden · 5 months ago

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CUTE AS A BUTTON

- this is really quite short because as i have mentioned before, i kind of find it a little bit difficult to write for terje despite finding him so cute! but here it is anyways, read it if you want to and i hope it is at least a little bit enjoyable :(

ps, the farmhouse that i mention in this work? i picture it being very similar the the farmhouse in the last of us part II and funnily enough, both ecstasy and aint no grave by crooked still were two of the songs i was jamming out to whilst writing this up lol! and will i ever stop making dad au stuff? no, never ever hehe <3

dad! terje who has the cutest and smallest little baby girl with you…

seriously, the baby girl that you guys have together is just the cutest little thing either of you have ever seen in your whole lives! everything about her is just so incredibly small and delicate… terje felt like a giant when she was a newborn and was placed in his arms for the first time, he was stuck in a silent state of shock and awe as he watched her little face scrunch up before softening as she somehow recognised his arms as a safe and comforting place, his tired eyes were stuck on her face as he studied her perfect little features before they drifted downwards to watch with an almost giddy smile on his face as her small hand grasped onto just one of his pale fingers… and not only is she just the cutest little thing in the world, but her strong resemblance to him is completely undeniable! it becomes especially apparent when she gets a little bit older and enters her toddler stage, she just looks like a total chubby little toddler double of him… she has his soft and shining ice blue eyes, she has his unique little pink lips, she has his soft and glossy brown hair with a slight curl to it, she has a small little ident in her chin that mirrors his own and she has his exact same adorable button nose which neither of you can ever resist peppering in adoring kisses, not to mention how many sweet eskimo kisses that happen too! your daughter with terje is quite literally just the epitome of cute as a button

dad! terje who loves to put flowers in your daughters hair…

if there is one thing that calms your little girl when she is in the midst of having a toddler tantrum, it would be going on short little walks with you and terje! the girl is kind of a major tree hugger, she just adores being outside in the fresh air and surrounded by pure nature, almost all of her tantrums start inside of your shared house because she just always so desperately wants to go out for a walk! all of her tantrums consist of her pouting and huffing and whining whilst pointing at the front door, giving her best faux big sad eyes up to the two of you which never ever fails to work like a charm on terje, as much as he hates to admit it… as much as she loves going on these walks with the two of you, she does not so much like the literal walking part and within just minutes of being bundled up in some thick warm clothes and leaving the house, terje has already swooped her up into his arms and has her settled comfortably on his hip after her small steps began to slow down! almost every single time on these frequent walks with your daughter, terje ends up picking an assorted bundle of small colourful flowers along the way! he loves sticking these delicate flowers into the pink hair ties that hold her soft brown hair in two short little pigtails, he loves slipping one of the flowers behind her ear and he just cannot get enough of her sickly sweet little smile when he coos down to her about how pretty she looks with flowers in her hair, he just cannot stop himself from mirroring her smile and telling you to look at how pretty she looks, turning to you and softly bouncing her on his arm whilst cooing to you about how she looks like a magical forest fairy or even a princess! and terje never even tries to stop you when you come closer to them and take some of the spare flowers from his hand and give them to your daughter before taking her small hand in yours, guiding her to slip one of the bright flowers into his long brown hair and behind his own ear… but he will be doing the exact same to you after you do it to him, a small and sweet grin painting his face as he uses your daughters little hand to push a flower into your hair with a look of pure love flooding his gentle blue orbs

dad! terje who always holds your baby daughter up in front of mirrors…

he does this just to be kind of goofy and have some fun with her! he just loves holding her small body safely in the crook of his arm with her back cushioned against his warm chest and making silly faces that reflect back to her in the large bedroom mirror, he loves sticking his tongue out and watching as she claps her hands with obvious delight at the comedic sight… he can never keep the silly faces going for long though, the sight of her being so humoured and the sound of her high pitched giggles is always bound to make him crack a big smile of his own before he starts laughing along with her, bouncing her small body in his arm whilst cooing down to her, blissfully unaware of and too stuck on showering your daughter in attention to notice the fact that you have been standing in the doorway and admiring the beautiful sight of him being such a doting father

dad! terje who bought your daughter a goose plushie before she was even born…

the plushie itself is almost overly soft and cushioned with plump stuffing inside, coloured with gentle white and light cream faux fur with two big glossy black buttons for eyes and two long plush orange legs… the soft plushie goose with a blank face was of course purchased by terje, just a couple of months after you had told him that you were definitely pregnant! he had found it in some little boutique store and something about it just made him smile and think about his unborn child with you and he himself was always quite fond of geese, so of course he bought it and took it home to you! he makes sure to rip the small paper price tag off before he shows you as he does not want to face your jokes about how cute and soft he is for spending so much on a simple little plushie… sometimes, when the two of you were stuck in front of a mirror studying your growing bump, he would bring the plushie over and press the beak against your bump, making mock kiss sounds and cracking a grin when it made you laugh… the first time your unborn daughter ever kicked was when he was doing this… and now, the goose plushie is something that she basically cannot live without at all, let alone sleep without! she takes it everywhere with her, even when she was a newborn she would cry and scream until you or terje placed the goose plushie down next to her and let her take it into her arms! that goose plushie was, in a way, her very first friend! and as much as you might try to fight against the idea, you know fine well that terje will probably end up surprising her with and letting her have a pet goose when she gets just a little bit older

dad! terje who wants a big yet quaint and comfortable family with you…

he already knew that he definitely wanted more children with you right after your first daughter was born but when she was in her toddler phase? when he got to see her eyes light up like sparkling stars whenever he picked a colourful little flower and gave it to her? when he got to see a huge smile crawl across her small face whenever he held her up on his hip and leaned down to show her how to pet an animal? when he got to listen to her incoherent babbles and high pitched giggles whenever he spoke back to her as if they were having a real conversation between themselves? it was all so special to terje, it all just made him feel so… content and warm in his life! of course he was already beyond happy and comfortable in a relationship with you before you were parents but when you gave him his daughter? it opened a whole new part of his heart that he was not even aware of existing and he just knew that he wanted to have more children with you and he probably wants them very soon after your first daughter is born! he wants them to all grow up pretty close in age so that they can all look out for each other and play together, especially since the cozy farmhouse that the two of you live in together is quite isolated from many other families… and it definitely helps that he thinks you looked absolutely ethereal when you were carrying and growing his first perfect baby! so do not be surprised that if in the midst of him laying back on your warm shared bed whilst holding your hips in his calloused hands as you fuck yourself on his cock, he looks up at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes that you have ever seen before asking just one simple little question in a breathy and whispery tone… “ can i get you pregnant again? i really want to get you pregnant again, want another baby with you so much… ” and how could you ever even think of saying no to him? it is safe to say that you guys definitely end up with quite a large little bundle of children but both of you love it so much and would not change it for the world

#thoughts ✩#the ducklings ✩#dad! terje bakken #dad! valfar #terje bakken x reader #valfar x reader #windir x reader

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duckchu · 2 years ago

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Heartsteel Kayn with a cute idol reader <3

How did it even come to be? Y/N, the nations sweetheart and...Kayn. Well, you were working on a track for your solo debut with Yone around the time of Kayn joining Heartsteel and he noticed you were at their apartment pretty often, sometimes even proving yourself useful by accidentally triggering some of Aphelios's pranks meant for the band members, like the classic water bucket on the door, which also made him see you in wet hair which...let's say haven't left his mind for a long time. But as you eventually stopped coming after the song was finished he...started missing you. He couldn't believe it, you two barely exchanged words, though he often saw you hanging out with Ezreal in their shared room as you two were friends back from the days when your promotions would collide and you would meet at variety shows together.

Eventually he asked Ezreal for your number and you two started exchanging text messages, which weren't really intresting at the beginning, but later on became the best time of the day for Kayn

He loved your wit and how you could actually stand him. He couldn't help but eventually develop feelings for you. He couldn't believe himself. He was falling for...You! A sickly sweet idol girl who's just as annoying as Ezreal. Yeah, that's what you are...not a witty person to talk to. Not at all.

After this he stopped responding to your texts and avoiding you. You didn't know why. You decided to go to Heartsteel's apartment to meet up with Ezreal and talk about it to him. As you entered his room, you noticed he wasn't there. Neither was Kayn. They're probably busy, you thought to yourself as you sat down on Kayn's bed. You could go to Yone, who was downstairs in the living room, but that would probably be awkward. So you wait for Ezreal. And you wait. And you wait...

After honestly not a long, just boring time, the door opens, revealing Kayn. You look at him, trying to hide the hurt in your eyes as he barely spares you a glance.

- What are you doing here? - he asks, cold tone hiding the oh so warm feelings he has for you.

- Waiting...for Ezreal...- you looked on your shoes, thinking of how much you wanted to just hug him right now

- Well he'll be out for a long time - you feel the bed under you dip as he sits down next to you. After his cold treatment for the past week, you were surprised that he wanted to get close to you. You decided this was your only chance to speak up.

- Why...Why are you ignoring me?- He smirked. He smirked! This smug bastard!

- Ignoring you? I'm talking to you right now - What you didn't know was that he was covering his nervousness. He wanted to speak to you so bad, but you were just...making him too soft.

- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!- you were so mad right now, which he thought was really cute

- Listen... You're just making me too soft...- He tried not looking you in the eyes, but you grabbed his face

- What do you mean?- You looked so puzzled...He wanted to kiss you so bad right now. So he did. He connected your lips and laid you down on the bed, making you question his intentions

- This. You're making me feel so...- He trailed off, looking at your cute, confused face

- Kayn...-

- I know you don't want a person like me.- He looked almost mad at himself for this.

- No...I do- You grabbed his collar and pulled him in for another kiss.

Now for the actual relationship

When it wasn't out yet, everyone was surprised at the change in both of yours behaviour. You seemed even cuter on stage, as if something magical has happened overnight while he became even more rowdy, secretly wanting to impress you.

Then in one interview he said that he had someone in mind when asked for ideal type and basically started describing you. Everyone in the room was kinda shocked when they realised (except for the other members of course, they already knew) and it leads to an avalanche on stories about how you two were a thing, how he was a creepy stalker, even that you were pregnant with his child? You didn't expect this at all, you weren't really used to having so much press about you released at once. It was overwhelming but also you were grateful that your relationship was partially out, since hiding it was starting to become tiring, especially with Kayn insisting on going out almost every night, since it would be harder to catch you two. While you liked those dates, they really messed your sleep schedule and you were practically running on energy drinks.

After the public became aware of your relationship, you got the toxic "leave my pookie bear" comment or two, but it wasn't noticible and Kayn always made sure you knew he loves you more than his fans.

You could also visit him more freely! And after some time both the public and your fans loved the "opposites attract" dynamic you two had.

You also started secretly putting cute accessories on Kayn's clothes, which he only started noticing after you went all out and put a pink ribbon on his collar. He was mad and chased you in Heartsteel's apartment with Aphelios recording.

#this is shit but whatever #league of legends #heartsteel #league of legends x reader #lol #lol x reader #heartsteel x reader #heartsteel kayn #kayn x reader #shieda kayn #kayn

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dsireland86 · 7 months ago

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Those pictures you took of Matt at the LP concert are giving me brain rot 🤤 imagine being at a Bad Omens concert and your by the FOH. Matt noticed you before the concert starts, bobbing your head to the openers, singing along to some of the song from the playlists in between sets. When its time for the boys to come you're jumping around, singing along to all the songs, screaming your little heart out. He's just watching you live your best life and it's just so cute. Once the concert is over and you're getting ready to leave, that when you notice Matt in his little habitat. You smile and wave at him, blushing cause you feel like you've just made a fool of yourself in front of him. He smiles and waves back, maybe asking security to pull you aside and to take you backstage for a fun little one night thing or something more if you both want it to be.

Oh man, you have no idea!! I'm more than sure he saw me, lol! I was the only one in that area (a lot of people hadn't found their seats yet either, so there was extra space) who was 1000% into them and their show. So many around me were like WTF watching me freak the eff out 🤣🤣 but I didn't care. Needless to say, when Linkin Park came on, I barely had any energy left! I absolutely love this request because as I was going through my pics, I pretty much had the same idea.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I changed the name of this one from "Living her best life" to "The Unexpected."

The Unexpected

Tag list:

@philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @nyxthedestroyerofworlds-deactiv @missduffsblog @bngurngheart @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @fadingangelwisp @dizzylmwahh @youlookforultraviolet

I found my seat easily, completely shocked at how close I was to the front. The stage looked so big from where I was standing, but I knew it was even bigger than it really seemed. Looking over to my right, I noticed that The Front Of House set up, where all the behind the scenes magic of a show happened, was set up beside me, just two rows back. I could see everything and I realized what it meant; that I would have the best view of the famous Matt Dierkes! I giggle softly to myself, feeling the excitement swallow me whole.

The opening band was awesome. I'd never heard of them before, but damn they were good. While most around me were just standing, sitting, or wandering around aimlessly, I was very much into them. Especially the drummer. He had me glued, with air drumming, head bumping, and body moving included with every song. After they were over, disappointed that they had to end, I sat down for a moment to catch my breath and take a drink of water.

Scanning the stadium, taking it all in slowly, my eyes stopped the moment they landed on the F.O.H. and who was standing there looking right at me with a slight grin on his face. My eyes widened and I quickly looked away for fear of being thought of as that "weird person", but my heart was racing and I was cheesing like an idiot. When I risked a glance back over, thankfully Matt was staring at his computer screen and I breathed a sigh, but then his eyes shifted back over to me and he smiled again, this time a lot bigger. I couldn't resist returning it. The way his lips formed into such a cute smile made the butterflies in my belly flutter. If that wasn't crazy enough, Matt waved at me, raising his hand slightly and nodding my way. I grinned, my lips pressed together tightly and curling in the corners of my mouth while nodding back and waving briefly. He went back to looking at his computer screen, and I suddenly felt so stupid. Matt probably thought I was one weird ass person and I hated myself instantly for acting so awkwardly. Rolling my eyes, I let out a groan and ran my hands down my face, hoping to rid myself of the utter embarrassment I felt.

When the second act was over, Matt scrambled to finish his setup, and after a fifteen minute intermission, the lights went down, and the show started. With my attention now focused on the stage before me, I watched with so much excitement as my favorite band put on one of the best shows of their career.

It was pure insanity in the best way possible. For two songs straight, I sang every word to "Concrete Jungle" and "Artificial Suicide," and I nearly lost my head when three special guests joined them on stage. It was magical, energetic chaos the entire fifty minutes, and I absolutely loved every second of it. Screaming the lyrics out to every song as loud as I could, earning me the strangest looks from the sour people around me, I was proud to show off my Bad Omens pride for the entire world to see. They guys didn't just crush the night. They killed it, and they left their mark on so many new hearts that I knew this night would be talked about for a while.

The show ended with a bang, and as soon as it was over, I felt completely empty. Something I had been waiting months for ended so quickly, and I wasn't ready to process it yet. As the lights came on, I stood there for a moment, pretty oblivious to most of what was happening around me. I wasn't sure of what to do next considering I was still on the most incredible high, and I wasn't ready to come down from it and let it go, but I was dying for something to drink. Turning to step out into the aisle and brave the crowd, I heard a loud whistle and looked up to see where it had come from. That's when I saw Matt, winding up some cables, staring straight at me and wearing that same cute smiling. Beckoning me with a slight nod of his head, I maneuvered my way through the crowd of people, over to the fenced off area.

"Hey," he grinned, still winding up cables. "Hey, yourself," leaning over the metal barrier as I looked up. "You seemed pretty into that opening band." I raised my eyebrows. "That opening band? You mean your band,” I corrected him with a smirk.

Matt huffed a slight laugh, looking down as he placed the cables in the box.

"So you do recognize me." "Oh, yeah," I grinned. "You're the man responsible for making all the magic happen." "Magic?" Matt's eyes narrowed, seeming to be puzzled. "What I do is magic? It's just a couple of cables, speakers, and programming. Nothing too complex or complicated." "For you, maybe not, but for some of us, it’s rocket science."

Unhooking a few more cables and bringing down the mixer carefully, Matt fixed his gaze on me again. "So, are you going to answer my question?" "You never asked me a question. You made a statement," I answered, raising an eyebrow. "Oh sassy. I like sassy."

The glint in his eyes matched the taunting grin gracing his lips, making my lower muscles tightened,

"Y'all freakin' killed it! Folio sounded incredible." "Got a thing for drummers?" "Maybe. It's classified," I teased, refusing to reveal all my secrets at once.

Stepping over some boxes, Matt came closer to me and squatted down. His eyes raked over me stopping when they locked with mine. He stared at me, holding me captive.

"Your eyes are really pretty up close." "Thank you," I said softly, too enticed by his look to say anything else.

I watched him swallow hard.

"I'm a drummer, you know," he smirked. "I do know that," I replied.

Matt raised an eyebrow.

"You mentioned it on The Downbeat." "Oh yeah," he grinned. "I'm assuming Folio is included in this classified question and answer? Do I have some competition?" "What does Folio have to do with this?" "He's a drummer." “So.”

Matt's brow furrowed.

"You're a very difficult girl, to read," Matt laughed "I'm sorry." "No, not in a bad way," he assured me. "In an intriguing way. I want to know more."

I looked up at Matt like he was crazy.

"What? You’re crazy,” I chided with a chuckle. "How is wanting to get to know you crazy?" "Look around! There's thousands of other women around here who are more interesting than me. Prettier, too.

Matt stood up, grabbing another cable.

"Okay, first, I'm not crazy. I know what I like and what I want."

His response was immediate and startling. Was he implying to me?

"Second, last time I checked, you're part of the thousands of women around here, so your excuse there is invalid. As far as the prettier bit, that's just not true either. In all solid honesty, you're very pretty and attractive to a lot of eyes, including mine.”

Matt smiled wide, and I couldn't help returning it, despite how loud the hammering of my heart was against my chest. This was unreal to me. This had to be some kind of dream and I needed to wake up before I got too invested in this.

"I really would like to get to know you a little more, if you're cool with that."

He looked down at me, waiting for me to answer.

All teasing was stripped away, the moment revealed a sincerity that I never would have expected from him, and it made my heart flutter. Matt's words hung in the air around us, making the moment a little tense. The immediate shift in Matt's tone made me shiver.

"I'm almost done here," squatting back down. "Come backstage with me and we can hang out for a little bit. I'll introduce you to the guys, too, if you want."

His soft brown eyes pleaded with me. I hesitated for a moment, thinking to myself how crazy this was.

"I'm not some kind of weirdo. I'm not going to hurt you if that's what you're worried about," Matt assured me, as if he could read my mind.

"I know that," I chuckled” "Okay, so? Is that a yes?"

Finally, I nodded, hoping I didn't make this entire moment as awkward as it felt like I did.

The nerves in my stomach had me feeling a bit nauseous. I followed close behind Matt, past security and through two double gym style doors. We walked past a few opened doors, my curious eyes looking into each and everyone of them, and I did a double take as familiar faces flashed before my eyes, while staring into one. Apparently, I caught their eyes too, because all four of them peered around the corner to watch Matt and I walk by. I turned back around so fast out of sheer embarrassment, feeling my cheeks heat up. Matt led us to a kitchen area with a few tables, a fridge, a microwave, some cabinets, and counters. It was so quiet. Now that it was just me and Matt, I felt more nervous than before, my stupid insecurity acting up. I hated when I got like this around people because it always meant my walls went up. I didn't want that; not now, not with Matt. Stupid social anxiety.

"Alcohol, water, soda or sports drink," Matt asked. "Water, please."

Bringing over two bottles, he opened mine and handed it to me, and I thanked him, appreciating the gentlemanly gesture. Matt sat down and removed his hat, running his fingers through his light brown hair.

"Why do you wear a hat all the time?"

Matt looked over at me, pulling his hair back and tying it up out of his face.

"I just do," he shrugged. "I look better, I think.” "Mmm, I don't know. You have a pretty cute face. "Really?" Matt's genuinely sweet smile melted my heart. "Really,” I said, honestly.

The night went on with us chatting about random stuff; hobbies, jobs, families, all of that kind of stuff. It was nice; really nice. But there was a hindrance between us. Something there that neither of us wanted to admit.

Matt studied my face for a moment, with an intensity that had me swaying closer toward him. He scooted closer to me, too, and pretty soon, we were sitting side by side, knees touching.

"Is this okay?" he asked sweetly. "Mmm-hmm, it's okay," I replied. "Damn," "What?" My eyes darted between Matt's. "You're beautiful."

The compliment made my breath hitch and I instantly broke eye contact with Matt.

"Hey, look at me."

Matt turned my face towards him. My eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of his skin against mine. This was dangerous, so dangerous.

"Dammit. Touching you was a bad idea," he groaned, and my core melted at the sound. His thumb stoked my lips, his eyes burned with a deep need of something I knew I could give him, and that's when I knew I'd do whatever it took to hear that groan of his again.

"Why?" "Because I knew once I did, I wouldn't want to stop."

My entire world exploded that very second. The air was heavy around us with so many things I wanted to say, but couldn't because I was too afraid to

"I really want to kiss you right now," Matt confessed.

He was tense, rubbing his palms up and down his thighs. I swallowed hard, knowing very well I shouldn't say what I was about to, but I couldn't control myself.

"Then kiss me."

The space between us no longer existed. I trembled the moment Matt's fingers brushed against the skin of my jawline as he slipped his hand behind my neck and pulled me into him. The coolness of his touch gave me shivers.

Then he kissed me the way I wanted, the way I'd been aching for, softly and slowly. His hands moved over me like liquid leaving a sort of burning heat in their wake, making me crave his touch everywhere. I reached out and pulled him against me as if I was searching for something. God, he was such a good kisser. Grabbing onto his wrists to steady myself, everything but Matt felt like a massive blur. Nothing else mattered but him and this moment with him. He'd lit the match in my dark world, lighting up the room with a sensation I'd never felt before. I knew then that leaving tonight without him would be one of the hardest things I'd ever have to do.

Breaking away, I pressed my forehead against Matt's as he brought his hands to my face. He kissed the tip of my nose before pulling back and leaving a soft, sweet kiss on my forehead. I loved forehead kisses.

"No wait," I whispered, keeping my eyes closed because I was afraid to look up. "This was just supposed to be us getting to know each other, not this." Matt lifted my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze that was burning with hunger. "We are getting to know each other, just not in the way we expected."

The way he smiled at me before attaching his lips to mine again had me convinced and as if he could read my thoughts, he kissed me harder. My lips parted and the very second Matt licked into my mouth, his tongue meeting mine and stroking it, my core melted, again.

I weaved my finger through his hair, completely and totally surrendering to his touch. "Get on my lap," he ordered, pulling me into him. Willingly, I obeyed, hearing the faint growl low in his throat as my wet sex pressed itself against his erection. That's when the kiss spun completely out of control like I knew it would, turning wild and urgent. It tasted of that sweet madness that I'd only read in a book or had seen in a movie. It didn't feel real, yet it was; very real.

Matt pulls back, his breathing ragged and fast. "Fuck," was all he said. "Matt," I said, almost whining. "I know," he replied, cupping my face and kissing me again. "I've never done this before," I confessed. "Done what?" "This, what we're doing. Never with someone I've just met."

Matt grinned. "I'm assuming you have," I asked. I knew he could hear the smile in my accusation.

"Once or twice. But it was seriously just that for the both of us; a sexual desire that needed to be quickly filled." He brushed the loose strands of hair out of my face, running his finger over my cheek. "And that's not what this is?" "For me or for you," Matt asked sincerely. I hesitated. I knew exactly how I felt. "For you." "No."

Matt's instant, solid "no" hit me so hard that, for a moment, I forgot to breathe. His expression was serious, telling me he was being honest and truthful. I threw my arms around his neck and wrapped myself tightly around him. I didn't expect anything in return, but when the grip around my waist tightened to the point that I could barely move, I'd never felt as safe and wanted as I did in that moment, in Matt's arms.

"You know what's crazy though," he said quietly into my neck. "What?" "I don't even know your name yet." I felt his smile against my skin again. "It's y/n."

"Well, y/n, how about we go back to my hotel room tonight and continue this. We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with or don’t want to do. We can just talk. And if it leads to more then that's a bonus. "I pulled away to look at Matt. His brown eyes were sincere, making me grin. I kissed him, placing both of my hands on the side of his face before laying my forehead against his again. "Alright. Let's go." Hey, that's my line."

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